[drabble][Naruto, Haku, PG] What Could Have Been

[ajremix]

I am totally digging on this challenge.

Title: What Could Have Been
Fandom: Naruto
Rating: PG
Word Count: 263
Characters: Haku
In Response to: naruto100’s My Not So Happy Ending
Summary: AU. A ‘could have been’ from long ago.




Isn’t it strange how people wish things were different? That maybe if they made a different choice everything would be okay?

For example, there was that dark haired boy from Konoha. The one that you killed.

Maybe you didn’t have to kill him but he was a threat to Zabuza-sama. Anyone a potential threat to your beloved master deserved nothing less then death.

But what if you didn’t kill him? Kept him in that floating space between life and death? After all, you didn’t expect that blonde child to suddenly explode with chakra- vile and nerve-crawling, the feel made you sick to your stomach.

And maybe if this strange creature hadn’t attacked you so mercilessly (like an animal, or a creature from the bowels of hell, come to finish what your parents couldn’t) maybe you would’ve been able to pay attention to other things.

Important things.

Like Zabuza-sama.

Maybe if you hadn’t killed the boy, you wouldn’t have brought out this demon. And if you weren’t fighting this demon, you might’ve noticed the danger Zabuza-sama was in. And maybe you could have saved him.

But instead you’re huddled over his body and sobbing into the hole in his chest that’s long since been drained of both blood and warmth and you’re not even caring about the raging, venomous chakra that’s crawling over the back of your skull and gnashing teeth against your back.

Instead, you close your master’s eyes and hold him tightly against you and you think how much more wonderful it would’ve been if you could have died for him instead.

Comments

I'm know I'm putting my head in sling over this but...

[bhanesidhe.livejournal.com]

On-line slang not withstanding: as a needlessly pedantic writer-friend of mine pointed out, "drabble" means "To make or become wet and soiled by dragging; draggle".

I will agree that '100' communities tend to encourage entries that maintain that word count exactly, but if the challenge didn't specify 'must be a hundred words exact' than the implication is null and void. It's sad really, considering most high quality archives don't consider 100 words redeemable fiction, but scrutinizing someone for having too little or too much when it isn't specified is an aimless criticism.

Re: I'm know I'm putting my head in sling over this but...

[inmyskirt.livejournal.com]

I remember reading about the meaning of drabble, that's funny.

This is mostly just my opinion. If the community even puts it in there username then I think people should treat it like one of those hidden rules and follow it. Or I would hope they stop calling it a drabble if it is over 100 words, because then it's more like a short fanfic. Again, it really is just my opinion and I'm just speaking up with it.

I don't think this is aimless criticism either. Considering the communty's username should provoke some thought to as what the '100' means.

Re: I'm know I'm putting my head in sling over this but...

[doomturtle.livejournal.com]

I've seen the word count debate come up in different threads in the past in this community, and the general feeling back then was not to keep it to the strict 100 wc, but to have it loose. I think it was decided something like under 1000 words, but my memory is weak towards specifics like that.