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ajremixWhich really has nothing to do with the other drabble of the same name asides from being about gay shirts.
Title: Real Men Wear Gay Shirts II: You are What You Look like
Fandom: Bleach
Rating: PG-13, for the p-word
Word Count: 668
Characters: Ikkaku, Yumichika, Rangiku, Hitsugaya
Summary: More on the awesomeness of Ikkaku’s pretty, pretty shirt.
The good thing about having long legs is the ability to out-stride people with short legs and get to where one’s going faster. The problem with other people not having long legs when one has to walk with them is it means one can’t walk as fast and must, in fact, walk their short-legged pace. And the problem with having long legs and walking with someone with short legs who wants to go their short-legged pace and having two fairly long-legged people that enjoys prolonging one’s torture… Well, simply put, looping their arms around one and walking that excruciatingly slow pace is a good way to anchor one and continue gleeing at the hideousness of that shirt.
Hitsugaya- whose stride had grown since becoming a captain because they always seem to have to be somewhere in a hurry –flickered a look back at where Yumichika and Rangiku were keeping a tight grip on a highly irate third seat. He was going to say something about just ignoring them, but the murderous look on Ikkaku’s face made him think better of it.
“It’s just so cute!” Rangiku cooed for the umpteenth time, enjoying each time Ikkaku’s face got a shade darker. “You should bring it back with you!”
“Yes! You can wear it whenever you go out drinking!” Yumichika agreed.
Seething, he told them, “It’s. A fucking. Shirt. The lady that’s lettin’ us stay- fer free –left it for me so what the hell else was I supposed to do? Say no?”
“If you had any dignity.” Yumichika snickered at the blonde’s response.
“Look at it this way.” The other man said diplomatically. “At least she was able to sneak her father’s pants out for you? Though I would love to see you fit in her little shorts!” Rangiku crowed so hard at the thought she was pounding on Ikkaku’s back.
He wished they’d be more like Hitsugaya who, after a brief period of wide-eyed shock and a little murmur of ‘well, don’t ask, don’t tell’, didn’t make any other comment about Ikkaku’s choice (or lack thereof) dress.
Though, in all honesty, it’s not so much their comments that are annoying him (because Ikkaku’s more than used to their dumb-ass remarks) as it is the looks that he’s been getting, going down the street. And not just the shocked and disapproving looks from older folks and the little giggling from girls… but the knowing grins and appraising looks from men that could give Yumichika a run for his money in effeminacy.
“They need to stop looking at me like that.” He growled, hands stuffed deep in his pockets, shoulders hunched up around his ears. “Creepin’ me the fuck out.”
Rangiku grinned, leaning heavily on his shoulder. “What, you’re not gonna take them up on their offer? Tease.”
“Anyway, can they help it?” Yumichika chided, swaying his hip to bump Ikkaku’s. “After all, in that shirt and with the way you look right now your head probably reminds them of a big, red erect penis.”
Ikkaku’s eyes narrowed, vein throbbing in his head (to help prove Yumichika’s point, really) he said, “I swear to fucking God. One of these days I’m gonna kill you. An’ I’m going to enjoy it.”
“You say the nicest things.”
Rangiku chortled on Ikkaku’s other side, reaching up to pat his bald head. “You know, maybe if you grew your hair out you wouldn’t look so much like a penis.”
“If he grew his hair out, wouldn’t he just look like a hairy penis?”
Three pairs of eyes widened and Hitsugaya slowly turned red as he realized just what it was that came out of his mouth.
“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
“Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!”
“Taichou! I can’t believe you said that!”
“I take back any potentially unflattering thing I might’ve said about you! That was beautiful!”
Yumichika and Rangiku fell against each other, trying to hold each other up as they laughed themselves sick. Ikkaku scowled, breaking off from the rest of the group. “I hope you all fuckin’ die.”
Title: Real Men Wear Gay Shirts II: You are What You Look like
Fandom: Bleach
Rating: PG-13, for the p-word
Word Count: 668
Characters: Ikkaku, Yumichika, Rangiku, Hitsugaya
Summary: More on the awesomeness of Ikkaku’s pretty, pretty shirt.
The good thing about having long legs is the ability to out-stride people with short legs and get to where one’s going faster. The problem with other people not having long legs when one has to walk with them is it means one can’t walk as fast and must, in fact, walk their short-legged pace. And the problem with having long legs and walking with someone with short legs who wants to go their short-legged pace and having two fairly long-legged people that enjoys prolonging one’s torture… Well, simply put, looping their arms around one and walking that excruciatingly slow pace is a good way to anchor one and continue gleeing at the hideousness of that shirt.
Hitsugaya- whose stride had grown since becoming a captain because they always seem to have to be somewhere in a hurry –flickered a look back at where Yumichika and Rangiku were keeping a tight grip on a highly irate third seat. He was going to say something about just ignoring them, but the murderous look on Ikkaku’s face made him think better of it.
“It’s just so cute!” Rangiku cooed for the umpteenth time, enjoying each time Ikkaku’s face got a shade darker. “You should bring it back with you!”
“Yes! You can wear it whenever you go out drinking!” Yumichika agreed.
Seething, he told them, “It’s. A fucking. Shirt. The lady that’s lettin’ us stay- fer free –left it for me so what the hell else was I supposed to do? Say no?”
“If you had any dignity.” Yumichika snickered at the blonde’s response.
“Look at it this way.” The other man said diplomatically. “At least she was able to sneak her father’s pants out for you? Though I would love to see you fit in her little shorts!” Rangiku crowed so hard at the thought she was pounding on Ikkaku’s back.
He wished they’d be more like Hitsugaya who, after a brief period of wide-eyed shock and a little murmur of ‘well, don’t ask, don’t tell’, didn’t make any other comment about Ikkaku’s choice (or lack thereof) dress.
Though, in all honesty, it’s not so much their comments that are annoying him (because Ikkaku’s more than used to their dumb-ass remarks) as it is the looks that he’s been getting, going down the street. And not just the shocked and disapproving looks from older folks and the little giggling from girls… but the knowing grins and appraising looks from men that could give Yumichika a run for his money in effeminacy.
“They need to stop looking at me like that.” He growled, hands stuffed deep in his pockets, shoulders hunched up around his ears. “Creepin’ me the fuck out.”
Rangiku grinned, leaning heavily on his shoulder. “What, you’re not gonna take them up on their offer? Tease.”
“Anyway, can they help it?” Yumichika chided, swaying his hip to bump Ikkaku’s. “After all, in that shirt and with the way you look right now your head probably reminds them of a big, red erect penis.”
Ikkaku’s eyes narrowed, vein throbbing in his head (to help prove Yumichika’s point, really) he said, “I swear to fucking God. One of these days I’m gonna kill you. An’ I’m going to enjoy it.”
“You say the nicest things.”
Rangiku chortled on Ikkaku’s other side, reaching up to pat his bald head. “You know, maybe if you grew your hair out you wouldn’t look so much like a penis.”
“If he grew his hair out, wouldn’t he just look like a hairy penis?”
Three pairs of eyes widened and Hitsugaya slowly turned red as he realized just what it was that came out of his mouth.
“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
“Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!”
“Taichou! I can’t believe you said that!”
“I take back any potentially unflattering thing I might’ve said about you! That was beautiful!”
Yumichika and Rangiku fell against each other, trying to hold each other up as they laughed themselves sick. Ikkaku scowled, breaking off from the rest of the group. “I hope you all fuckin’ die.”
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Date: 2007-01-23 01:30 am (UTC)Oh dear good GRIEF, Hitsu, I am so proud of you. Really. And I am sure Matsumoto is too! So proud of her wee ickle taichou finally joining in on the teasing and the banter and the perverted comments.
*pats Ikkaku* You...sort of have my sympathy. But it was just so funny.
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Date: 2007-01-23 02:00 am (UTC)XD
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Date: 2007-01-23 03:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 10:11 am (UTC)okay just incoherant love for your writing in general. *worships Daddy*
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Date: 2007-01-23 01:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 04:52 pm (UTC)Beautiful indeed, Hitsugaya 8'D
this = mmm haha genius ♥
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Date: 2007-01-23 05:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-24 01:09 am (UTC)--- HAHAHAHA
“If he grew his hair out, wouldn’t he just look like a hairy penis?”
--- *DIES*