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ajremixTitle: Don’t Stop Believing
Fandom: Bleach RP![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
mercy_street_rp
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 996
Characters: Retsu
Summary: Following![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sevenall’s far too wonderful and painful Every Breath You Take.
Retsu’s office is quiet in a way that mere silence can’t penetrate, trying to think. She doesn’t remember anymore how she first heard it. It seems like everyone knew all at the same time even though she knew that someone had to track her down to tell her. Kenpachi, she was told, had taken off the moment he heard, dropping whatever he had been doing at the bar and just leaving. If what she heard was true, he called back later and instructed Rangiku to call Renji from work and Tetsu from school before he finally told her what happened.
And now there they all where, Renji pacing the length of the bar, Rangiku pale and silent on a stool and Tetsu burying himself in some of the text he borrowed from the clinic. The sign on the bar claims it’s closed but the doors are unlocked so anyone could wait with them to hear news. For the amount of people the establishment is unusually hushed and only half-hearted reminiscence echo in the solid walls, ashamed in the words as if merely saying them was a condemnation.
Retsu had to go to her clinic to get away from it. The quiet words and sullen faces were too much for her to bear, even more painful than the stark and quiet walls here. Darling Isane is working herself ragged, she thinks just to pull herself out of the masochistic cycle her mind is taking her through. Dealing with both the orphanage and the clinic at once. Retsu thinks she should go out and help her.
But she can’t bring herself to.
(That’s her little boy there, broken and bleeding and dying. She’s seen him like that before and it had nearly torn her apart and she can’t bring herself to go over to the hospital now because then he had a chance. Now, though, going would only serve to let her watch the young man who had her heart the moment he clung to her slowly die. The boy she loves dearly, who she considers hers even among the others she considers hers, the one she spent almost as many years trying to piece back together as people ruthlessly tore him apart)
Renji and Tetsu came up to talk to her the moment they got back. They told her he would survive and that it was going to be okay- he’ll be back swearing and yelling and causing more trouble in a couple weeks. She had smiled at their blind faith in their immortal friendship but they knew they were being naïve even without the despair that hung across her shoulders. Tetsu had gone silent then but Renji began talking faster about how the regulars were all throwing in money to help pay for- for anything and that he and Tetsu and some other guys were willing to donate anything they could (blood, marrow, whatever he needed they were sure one of them could give up). Retsu thinks her eyes must’ve looked a little wet because Renji suddenly fell silent and Tetsu quietly asked if he could borrow some books.
She asked if anyone had told the rest of his friends and they said word had already made it all the way down the street. The Shibas called and said they could help with money as best they could, the lady from the teahouse offered to find organ donor organizations (Retsu is certain not all these ventures would be legal, it seems to her that Nanao needed her student on some level as much as he needed her) and Yumichika even offered to beg money off his parents if they just said the word.
Looking at all the lives affected by this tragedy (a couple chefs at the Penguin Gourmet had food delivered for free for the vigilance and Detective Komamura gave his solemn word that if either gang was involved with this, actions would be taken) and part of Retsu can’t help but feel a little proud that he could make so many people care. There’s something inspiring in him, she figures quietly. Something in the way he acts so careless and alive that makes people want to think that the world isn’t as bad as it seems if they only had a little confidence in it.
But all the confidence and hope and determination isn’t going to change anything, she knows, because he’s just too broken to heal. The doctor explained it to her, distant and efficient and part of Retsu understood the detachment and part of thought the emotionless catalogue was too cruel when she wanted so badly to scream. And no matter what sort of surgery she can think to perform or who she can call or how much money everyone can pull together, she knows in the end it all will amount to nothing.
She can imagine Kenpachi in the doctor’s office (maybe he’s pacing and growling and bristling at every clipped word said or maybe he’s in the chair, silent and stiff and glaring at the doctor, through the doctor, like a stone deity passing judgement) and she knows he’ll believe her but he won’t listen. That’s his son even more than he is hers- lawfully, emotionally, mentally. Retsu doesn’t know what Kenpachi will do afterwards, probably retreat into himself and it’ll be just like thirteen years earlier and even if he’ll still have Tetsu and Renji and Rangiku it won’t be the same- none of them will be the same.
It’ll be like missing a foot, Retsu thinks. And when she thinks it barriers that’s been holding every concern and worry for her boy for twelve years suddenly aren’t there anymore and it’s magnified because suddenly there’s this gaping hole in her life and she’s afraid of being forced to stare at it every day for the rest of her life. And even though she knows it’s an improbability that he’ll survive, Retsu prays through her heartbreak:
Please, save him!
Fandom: Bleach RP
mercy_street_rpRating: PG-13
Word Count: 996
Characters: Retsu
Summary: Following
sevenall’s far too wonderful and painful Every Breath You Take.Retsu’s office is quiet in a way that mere silence can’t penetrate, trying to think. She doesn’t remember anymore how she first heard it. It seems like everyone knew all at the same time even though she knew that someone had to track her down to tell her. Kenpachi, she was told, had taken off the moment he heard, dropping whatever he had been doing at the bar and just leaving. If what she heard was true, he called back later and instructed Rangiku to call Renji from work and Tetsu from school before he finally told her what happened.
And now there they all where, Renji pacing the length of the bar, Rangiku pale and silent on a stool and Tetsu burying himself in some of the text he borrowed from the clinic. The sign on the bar claims it’s closed but the doors are unlocked so anyone could wait with them to hear news. For the amount of people the establishment is unusually hushed and only half-hearted reminiscence echo in the solid walls, ashamed in the words as if merely saying them was a condemnation.
Retsu had to go to her clinic to get away from it. The quiet words and sullen faces were too much for her to bear, even more painful than the stark and quiet walls here. Darling Isane is working herself ragged, she thinks just to pull herself out of the masochistic cycle her mind is taking her through. Dealing with both the orphanage and the clinic at once. Retsu thinks she should go out and help her.
But she can’t bring herself to.
(That’s her little boy there, broken and bleeding and dying. She’s seen him like that before and it had nearly torn her apart and she can’t bring herself to go over to the hospital now because then he had a chance. Now, though, going would only serve to let her watch the young man who had her heart the moment he clung to her slowly die. The boy she loves dearly, who she considers hers even among the others she considers hers, the one she spent almost as many years trying to piece back together as people ruthlessly tore him apart)
Renji and Tetsu came up to talk to her the moment they got back. They told her he would survive and that it was going to be okay- he’ll be back swearing and yelling and causing more trouble in a couple weeks. She had smiled at their blind faith in their immortal friendship but they knew they were being naïve even without the despair that hung across her shoulders. Tetsu had gone silent then but Renji began talking faster about how the regulars were all throwing in money to help pay for- for anything and that he and Tetsu and some other guys were willing to donate anything they could (blood, marrow, whatever he needed they were sure one of them could give up). Retsu thinks her eyes must’ve looked a little wet because Renji suddenly fell silent and Tetsu quietly asked if he could borrow some books.
She asked if anyone had told the rest of his friends and they said word had already made it all the way down the street. The Shibas called and said they could help with money as best they could, the lady from the teahouse offered to find organ donor organizations (Retsu is certain not all these ventures would be legal, it seems to her that Nanao needed her student on some level as much as he needed her) and Yumichika even offered to beg money off his parents if they just said the word.
Looking at all the lives affected by this tragedy (a couple chefs at the Penguin Gourmet had food delivered for free for the vigilance and Detective Komamura gave his solemn word that if either gang was involved with this, actions would be taken) and part of Retsu can’t help but feel a little proud that he could make so many people care. There’s something inspiring in him, she figures quietly. Something in the way he acts so careless and alive that makes people want to think that the world isn’t as bad as it seems if they only had a little confidence in it.
But all the confidence and hope and determination isn’t going to change anything, she knows, because he’s just too broken to heal. The doctor explained it to her, distant and efficient and part of Retsu understood the detachment and part of thought the emotionless catalogue was too cruel when she wanted so badly to scream. And no matter what sort of surgery she can think to perform or who she can call or how much money everyone can pull together, she knows in the end it all will amount to nothing.
She can imagine Kenpachi in the doctor’s office (maybe he’s pacing and growling and bristling at every clipped word said or maybe he’s in the chair, silent and stiff and glaring at the doctor, through the doctor, like a stone deity passing judgement) and she knows he’ll believe her but he won’t listen. That’s his son even more than he is hers- lawfully, emotionally, mentally. Retsu doesn’t know what Kenpachi will do afterwards, probably retreat into himself and it’ll be just like thirteen years earlier and even if he’ll still have Tetsu and Renji and Rangiku it won’t be the same- none of them will be the same.
It’ll be like missing a foot, Retsu thinks. And when she thinks it barriers that’s been holding every concern and worry for her boy for twelve years suddenly aren’t there anymore and it’s magnified because suddenly there’s this gaping hole in her life and she’s afraid of being forced to stare at it every day for the rest of her life. And even though she knows it’s an improbability that he’ll survive, Retsu prays through her heartbreak:
Please, save him!
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no subject
Date: 2006-09-27 08:13 pm (UTC)Unohana's voice is wonderful and the other characters are nothing less than perfect, Tetsu looking for answers in his books, the Brigand crew holding onto hope, all of Mercy Street (or at least it feels as if it's all of them) offering their help without hesitation. And Unohana the only one of those who love him, who can see that no money, no organs, no love can bring him back.