[drabble][Naruto, Kiba/Shikamaru, R] Too Much Drunk in the Debauchery

[ajremix]

Title: Too Much Drunk in the Debauchery
Series: Naruto
Rating: R, just on the safe side
Word Count: 384
Character: Shikamaru with mentions of Kiba
Summary: Kiba turns 21, drunken sex isn’t as fun as people make it out to be and other things just will /not/ be talked about
In Response to:naruto100's Bad Sex challenge




When Shikamaru woke up his mouth tasted like ass. Not because he didn’t brush his teeth last night but because Akamaru was practically sitting on his face.

Thoroughly annoyed within a minute of waking up, he twisted his head to the other side and tried to push himself off the bed. Which wasn’t happening. Apparently Kiba sleeping took ‘dead weight’ to a formerly unforeseen level.

Last night, Shikamaru thought, struggling to push the man off of him, sucked more than he thought possible. The previously mentioned dead weight had turned 21 the day before which warranted a party. And drinking. Even if not all the guests were 21, but it was a minor technicality. So they drank. And they had fun. And they drank some more. And drank again because they’d forgotten they drank in the first place.

Then things were getting a little fuzzy…. Shikamaru could remember Kiba dragging him to his room and the kissing and the groping. It may have been just because neither of them could even stand up straight, but Shikamaru didn’t think they knew what they were doing. It was then Shikamaru made a mental note that spit does /not/ make a good substitution for lube.

It occurred to Shikamaru that Kiba’s dad- like most fathers –put off the ‘birds and bees’ talk for as long as possible and eventually just sat the boy down by the dogs during mating season for education. On his hands and knees, with Kiba heavy behind him, the only though going through Shikamaru’s mind was:

Alcohol + Compromised Balance + Weal Limbs + Kiba’s Weight + Kiba’s Compromised Balance = Shikamaru being repeatedly slammed painfully and awkwardly into the mattress. It was all he could do to turn his head to the side for some semblance of breathing.

He snuck out of the house best he could and scowled at the pups that had turned his long discarded underwear into a tug-of-war rope. With all the painful memories, the dog hair in his mouth and puke in his hair, Shikamaru thought drunken sex was /definitely/ overrated. But, he figured, he was glad his first time was with Kiba, at least. He could’ve wound up like Neji, who he was certain would never be able to look at dogs the same way again.

Comments

re: drunken kiba/shikamaru

[gsyh.livejournal.com]

/He could’ve wound up like Neji, who he was certain would never be able to look at dogs the same way again./

Wait, wait, did you just imply !!!!?>??!!