![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ajremixStupidity is solely to be blamed on this post.
Title: Pants (Don't) Make the Man
Fandom: DCU
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1165
Characters: Ted, Booster, Scott, Bea
Summary: Even as a child, Ted liked putting on a superhero costume.
Ted's life had hit a low. He lost his girl, lost his business, lost his money and was now forced to live at the JLI embassy full time. Which also meant he had to go through years and years of accumulated crap to find out what small fraction he absolutely couldn't do without because, as Max put it, "We don't have the space to be a storage facility."
Which was why Ted was scrunched in an itty bitty corner of his bed, squashed between boxes of things he barely remembered owning let alone buying, and trying to remember the possible significance of each random bit. The place was so damn full of boxes he hadn't even realized Booster was in there with him for a good ten minutes. Not until a wavering, "Ted- what is this?" floated around a tower by the door.
"What is what?" Ted awkwardly got to his feet and saw a mop of blonde hair. He began making his precarious trek toward it. "What're you doing looking through my stuff, anyway?"
"You're right- what if I were to come across incriminating evidence that you were secretly- GASP! -the Blue Beetle?"
Squeezing his way around the last wobbling tower of knick knacks, Ted found Booster flipping through a photo album. One of the things Ted considered tossing out once he got all the important pictures (pretty much just ones of his mother) out. Booster's eyes jumped up at Ted's approach, a laughter-smothering smile on his face.
"What?" Ted asked, trying to remember what was actually in that photo album that could potentially be hilarious.
"Started at a young age, did it?"
"What did?" In the tight confines, Ted tried to crane his head over Booster's shoulder.
There was a photo of Ted. Young Ted. A chubby Ted before he got into gymnastics. In that Halloween costume. "Oh God."
"How old were you? Ten?"
"Eight."
"And you wanted to be the Blue Beetle way back then?"
Color rushed into Ted's cheeks. "I wasn't the Blue Beetle- I was Sparky."
"Who?"
"Sparky." Ted scowled and looked at his feet. Or tried- the space meant the costumed little Ted was right under his nose so older, mortified Ted turned to glare at a box instead. "He was Dan's sidekick at the time."
Ted could feel Booster's smile growing. "I suppose that would make more sense than imagining a grown man fighting crime in hot pants. So you wanted to be his sidekick, is that it?"
"Oh shut up." He ganked (sort of, his elbow hit a box and both men froze until the pile stopped rattling and then Ted continued the action at a more gingerly pace) the photo album from Booster's hands and snapped it shut. "I wanted to- I mean, Dan was so- it wasn't- I don't have to justify kids' stuff to you!"
"Aw," Booster cooed as Ted securely tucked the album under his arm and tried to stomp-tiptoe a retreat, "but you were so cute!"
"I will throw something at you, Booster, I really will. And I've got a lot of choices here."
"I'm just teasing, Ted."
"Yeah, well..." Ted looked over his shoulder to see if Booster was attempting to follow, "I'd appreciate it if you just kept your mouth shut on this, okay?" With the coast clear, Ted flipped to the photo again. God, he was such a rotund child. Even though he'd been ruthlessly teased for his weight back then, it wasn't until he saw the developed photo that it actually hit him and he had begged his parents to enroll him into some sort of sport. And he picked gymnastics because in his young, eight year old mind, being able to do flips and stuff would be a useful sidekick skill . He'd kept the photo- as much as he hated it -as a reminder about why he pushed himself in gymnastics and later in martial arts. Eventually the need to impress a hero he hadn't ever imagined meeting as well as all the self-hate for his own body passed and Ted continued for the joy of it, but still.
Looking at the photo just let all the memories back in. Ted pulled the photo out, looking at it with a mix of forlorn nostalgia. As much as he despised how he looked in the photo, it did get him to where he was today.
Ted placed the photo on his nightstand, then turned to the beginning of the album to find what other photos he wanted to keep.
~*~*~*~
"Did you do it?"
"Yeah, it's all taken care of."
"And you put it-"
"He'll never find it. Trust me on that."
Booster's grin practically ate his face. "You're the greatest."
Scott just waved a hand. "Please- keep exchanging duties for incredibly simple and easy favors. Barda likes all the extra time off I'm getting."
Curious as to what the two were doing, Bea went to lounge herself on the arm of the couch and asked, "What's going on?"
Booster was damn near bouncing on the couch and, of all things, giggling. "Stick around for the show- it'll happen aaaaaany minute now."
"What show? What's going on?"
"Booster's pulling a prank on Ted."
Bea's eyes danced. "Oh yeah? What kind of prank."
Stifling another giggle into his fist, Booster just said, "Wait for it..."
"BOOSTER!"
"Here he comes!"
Feet were pounding down the stairs and Ted- almost in full costume -tore into the room. It was full in that his shirt, gloves, belt and boots were in place while his cowl hung down between his shoulder blades. The almost was the fact he was missing pants. He was wearing the shorts just... not the pants that went under them.
Bea and Booster tossed their heads back howling and Scott couldn't help turning away in attempt to (not really) hide his laughter. Ted's face had gone scarlet, fists at his side as he growled, "Booster- gimme my pants. I know you have them!"
Booster had fallen off the couch, he was laughing so hard and Bea was clinging to it by sheer force of will. "I think," she gasped, "I think it's the hair legs that make it! Oh, I'm going to start calling you Teddy Bear!"
"Where are my damned pants, Booster!?"
"Can't," Booster wheezed out, "can't breathe!"
"Pants, Booster! Where are they?"
"But you have such great legs!"
He shot Bea a dark look. "You keep out of this!"
"Hahaha, hehehehehehe," Booster managed to sit up, wiping tears from his eyes. "C'mon- Ted! You gotta admit this is hilarious!"
"Pants. Or I will kill you."
"But I thought you liked hot pants!"
Just then the emergency alarm went off.
Ted turned to give Booster a glare like an active volcano under ice- slow, bitingly cold and about to explode in a fiery mess of absolute pain. "You are going to die," he told Booster calmly, "a slow and painful death."
Booster could only gulp in reply.
Title: Pants (Don't) Make the Man
Fandom: DCU
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1165
Characters: Ted, Booster, Scott, Bea
Summary: Even as a child, Ted liked putting on a superhero costume.
Ted's life had hit a low. He lost his girl, lost his business, lost his money and was now forced to live at the JLI embassy full time. Which also meant he had to go through years and years of accumulated crap to find out what small fraction he absolutely couldn't do without because, as Max put it, "We don't have the space to be a storage facility."
Which was why Ted was scrunched in an itty bitty corner of his bed, squashed between boxes of things he barely remembered owning let alone buying, and trying to remember the possible significance of each random bit. The place was so damn full of boxes he hadn't even realized Booster was in there with him for a good ten minutes. Not until a wavering, "Ted- what is this?" floated around a tower by the door.
"What is what?" Ted awkwardly got to his feet and saw a mop of blonde hair. He began making his precarious trek toward it. "What're you doing looking through my stuff, anyway?"
"You're right- what if I were to come across incriminating evidence that you were secretly- GASP! -the Blue Beetle?"
Squeezing his way around the last wobbling tower of knick knacks, Ted found Booster flipping through a photo album. One of the things Ted considered tossing out once he got all the important pictures (pretty much just ones of his mother) out. Booster's eyes jumped up at Ted's approach, a laughter-smothering smile on his face.
"What?" Ted asked, trying to remember what was actually in that photo album that could potentially be hilarious.
"Started at a young age, did it?"
"What did?" In the tight confines, Ted tried to crane his head over Booster's shoulder.
There was a photo of Ted. Young Ted. A chubby Ted before he got into gymnastics. In that Halloween costume. "Oh God."
"How old were you? Ten?"
"Eight."
"And you wanted to be the Blue Beetle way back then?"
Color rushed into Ted's cheeks. "I wasn't the Blue Beetle- I was Sparky."
"Who?"
"Sparky." Ted scowled and looked at his feet. Or tried- the space meant the costumed little Ted was right under his nose so older, mortified Ted turned to glare at a box instead. "He was Dan's sidekick at the time."
Ted could feel Booster's smile growing. "I suppose that would make more sense than imagining a grown man fighting crime in hot pants. So you wanted to be his sidekick, is that it?"
"Oh shut up." He ganked (sort of, his elbow hit a box and both men froze until the pile stopped rattling and then Ted continued the action at a more gingerly pace) the photo album from Booster's hands and snapped it shut. "I wanted to- I mean, Dan was so- it wasn't- I don't have to justify kids' stuff to you!"
"Aw," Booster cooed as Ted securely tucked the album under his arm and tried to stomp-tiptoe a retreat, "but you were so cute!"
"I will throw something at you, Booster, I really will. And I've got a lot of choices here."
"I'm just teasing, Ted."
"Yeah, well..." Ted looked over his shoulder to see if Booster was attempting to follow, "I'd appreciate it if you just kept your mouth shut on this, okay?" With the coast clear, Ted flipped to the photo again. God, he was such a rotund child. Even though he'd been ruthlessly teased for his weight back then, it wasn't until he saw the developed photo that it actually hit him and he had begged his parents to enroll him into some sort of sport. And he picked gymnastics because in his young, eight year old mind, being able to do flips and stuff would be a useful sidekick skill . He'd kept the photo- as much as he hated it -as a reminder about why he pushed himself in gymnastics and later in martial arts. Eventually the need to impress a hero he hadn't ever imagined meeting as well as all the self-hate for his own body passed and Ted continued for the joy of it, but still.
Looking at the photo just let all the memories back in. Ted pulled the photo out, looking at it with a mix of forlorn nostalgia. As much as he despised how he looked in the photo, it did get him to where he was today.
Ted placed the photo on his nightstand, then turned to the beginning of the album to find what other photos he wanted to keep.
~*~*~*~
"Did you do it?"
"Yeah, it's all taken care of."
"And you put it-"
"He'll never find it. Trust me on that."
Booster's grin practically ate his face. "You're the greatest."
Scott just waved a hand. "Please- keep exchanging duties for incredibly simple and easy favors. Barda likes all the extra time off I'm getting."
Curious as to what the two were doing, Bea went to lounge herself on the arm of the couch and asked, "What's going on?"
Booster was damn near bouncing on the couch and, of all things, giggling. "Stick around for the show- it'll happen aaaaaany minute now."
"What show? What's going on?"
"Booster's pulling a prank on Ted."
Bea's eyes danced. "Oh yeah? What kind of prank."
Stifling another giggle into his fist, Booster just said, "Wait for it..."
"BOOSTER!"
"Here he comes!"
Feet were pounding down the stairs and Ted- almost in full costume -tore into the room. It was full in that his shirt, gloves, belt and boots were in place while his cowl hung down between his shoulder blades. The almost was the fact he was missing pants. He was wearing the shorts just... not the pants that went under them.
Bea and Booster tossed their heads back howling and Scott couldn't help turning away in attempt to (not really) hide his laughter. Ted's face had gone scarlet, fists at his side as he growled, "Booster- gimme my pants. I know you have them!"
Booster had fallen off the couch, he was laughing so hard and Bea was clinging to it by sheer force of will. "I think," she gasped, "I think it's the hair legs that make it! Oh, I'm going to start calling you Teddy Bear!"
"Where are my damned pants, Booster!?"
"Can't," Booster wheezed out, "can't breathe!"
"Pants, Booster! Where are they?"
"But you have such great legs!"
He shot Bea a dark look. "You keep out of this!"
"Hahaha, hehehehehehe," Booster managed to sit up, wiping tears from his eyes. "C'mon- Ted! You gotta admit this is hilarious!"
"Pants. Or I will kill you."
"But I thought you liked hot pants!"
Just then the emergency alarm went off.
Ted turned to give Booster a glare like an active volcano under ice- slow, bitingly cold and about to explode in a fiery mess of absolute pain. "You are going to die," he told Booster calmly, "a slow and painful death."
Booster could only gulp in reply.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-05-03 09:26 am (UTC)Booster, I love you. That whole exchange in Ted's room was so wonderful. And aww, Ted dressing up as Sparky! That is just so cute and so perfect and I love how far back his hero worship goes. ZOMG and then you did art! The two Ted's side-by-side, hopeful and adorable -> angry and hot.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-03 02:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-03 03:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-03 06:11 pm (UTC)"You're right- what if I were to come across incriminating evidence that you were secretly- GASP! -the Blue Beetle?"
Best line ever!
Also, pantsless!Ted is made of terrifying win and awesome.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-03 10:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-04 12:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-04 02:44 am (UTC)Psst, typo: "I think it's the hair legs that make it! - hairy?
no subject
Date: 2011-05-07 02:22 am (UTC)XD
Lovely work as always, the story and the artwork. Lil' chubby Ted is fantastic/adorable/squee-worthy. I fear for Booster's life, or at least his dignity, after this stunt. FEAR THE WRATH OF THE HOT PANTS WEARING BEETLE! Thank you. ^.^
no subject
Date: 2011-05-07 11:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-07 09:34 pm (UTC)Except Booster has no short shorts to cover him.
Bwa ha ha.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-07 10:36 pm (UTC)