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ajremixSo this should have been done, like, two friggin' months ago but I had problems with writer's block, school, writer's block, more writer's block, rl issues, and AAAARRGH, more or less in that order. But at least it's done, huh? Huh?
Also, apologies for the lack of beta on this, but I wanted to make sure it was posted on time. So sorry for the delay -.-;;
Title: Everything You (N)Ever Had
Fandom: Transformers
Rating: PG
Word Count: 3037
Characters: Springer, Thundercracker, Roadbuster, Skywarp, various others
In Response to:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
springkink
Summary: Transformers, Thundercracker/Springer, Long Separation - "We had it all, and watched it slip away." Beware the interwoven, Memento-style non-linear narration. Vague Megatron Origin and All Hail Megatron references.
“What are you looking so nervous about receiving your orders for? Don’t tell me you’re going to miss the Academy.”
“Considering how sick I’ve gotten looking at the same faces and running constant exercises for a majority of my existence, I think it’s safe to assume that’s one thing I won’t be saying.”
“So you’re afraid of all the unknown out there, huh?”
“Who’s afraid?”
“Believe me, out of everyone in our platoon, you’re one of the few I can say for certain don’t need to worry about the future. You’ve got the skill, the knowledge-“
“The patience.”
“-the dedication to really make a name for yourself. Commands across all the systems will be clamoring to get you onboard.”
“Your confidence in me is astounding. I’m almost worried about your opinion of yourself.”
~*~*~*~
“You’ll be fine, it’s gonna be okay-“
“It will be if you lot got out of my way and let me work here!”
The words were just secondary noise, an absent-minded acknowledgment that Springer thought he was supposed to understand but he couldn’t quite string sense together. All he felt was pain. Pain and the sluggish sense that he still had a job to do.
Something was holding him down and it took Springer a long moment to realize it was someone’s hand on his ruined chestplate. It took even longer for him to realize that the screaming pain in his body was from his attempting to get up.
“Take it easy, Springer,” someone said above him. “You’ve gotten yourself pretty slagged up and I’m not above having someone sit on you to keep you still while I fix you.”
Some bleary corner of his processors labeled the speaker as ‘Ratchet’. Springer’s body went limp, too exhausted and broken to do anything more. In an attempt to escape the pain, his systems began cycling down.
In a far off distance another voice said, just on the edge of Springer’s awareness, “Rest up, kid, you did damn good. I’m proud of you...”
~*~*~*~
He was a rising star. The current height of technological achievement and training. He was an inspiration, his record flawless and reputation glowing. His name was synonymous with practical leadership, carefully weighed decision making and the unwavering loyalty of his wing whom he put in the highest regard. Command couldn’t seem to promote him fast enough, his peers couldn’t help but respect him and there was nothing but praise from those he commanded.
Then, one day, it was like he woke up.
His peers, though they respected him, tried to sabotage him in every subtle way possible. Command, though eager to promote him, gave him offices that were largely ceremonial and far from the outer stations where his tactical knowledge or flight skill was needed. He was being marginalized because, though competent as he was, he couldn’t be controlled by those above him.
The only ones who were as they seemed were the wings he was in charge of. Their loyalty to him was undeniable, unquestionable. It was the kind of loyalty that, when he was arrested for refusing to co-op some of his fliers for a mission he deemed suicidal and pointless, they rioted as he was being restrained.
When Command gave him a chance to repent, to submit to following all orders in the future without question, Thundercracker refused outright. He was sent to the brig and to trial and only his record, stead-fast character and fear of martyring him saved him from being reprogrammed. Instead, after his sentence was served, he was forcibly ejected from the Security Force. That suited Thundercracker fine. If he ever had to deal with an Autobot again, he doubted it would end well.
~*~*~*~
It hurt. He knew- they all knew -that it would one day come down to this, but it still hurt and it still made his internals churn violently. Springer stood before his mechs and tried to pretend he wasn’t shaking down to his bolts. “Wreckers,” he said and there was none of his easy good nature or sly wit, just resignation and guilt, “this mission will likely be our last. We’ve always done into the impossible and we’ve survived but this time... this time is like no other.”
He softened no blows, fed no sideways lines. They would know exactly what they’d be getting into. They would know he trusted them even to the last moment. “This is no battle we can win. Everything is against us- numbers, firepower, support and none of these Decepticons we’ll be up against are like the cowards and bullies we’ve known before. These are Megatron’s best trained, most disciplined troops. Our objective isn’t to route them, our objective is to slow those ‘cons down by any means necessary, to the very last instant of our lives. We will not receive any back up or additional support, we cannot pull back. We have to give our fellow Autobots every nano-klik we can so they can escape.” Springer’s hands pressed into the tabletop and he did not flinch as he met the gaze of every one of his mechs. “This is the mission in which most, if not all of us, will die.”
His words smothered the room- dark, heavy and brutal. Optics and visors darkened, flared, pulsed as the realization that their end had finally come sank in.
“All who want to live, leave. I won’t force anyone to give up their lives and not wanting to die is no weakness. You have all served well and gave to the Autobots more than they could ever repay you for. Whether you leave with our ships or stay at my side, I am proud to have fought with you and to call you my brothers.”
A hand cut through the air, dismissing the tension and noble sentiments as if this mission were like any other. As if they had been prepared to die fighting with their brothers from the moment they first joined the squad. “You’ve never needed to coerce us into facing highly probable death before,” Roadbuster said and intense, predatory grins spread over faceplates, ready to see just what it would take to finally end their savagery. “What’s the plan?”
~*~*~*~
”I’d appreciate if you’d stop following me.”
“Not until you say yes.”
“I don’t need a partner.”
“Yes, you do. No one wants to hire a solo-flier. Makes you look like you can’t cooperate with others.”
“That’s their loss, then.”
“Your problem, too. You’ve got to be high maintenance with your kind of specs. Can’t keep yourself in the air if you have no creds.”
Thundercracker finally turned around, faceplates pulled together in annoyance at the other flier who continually put himself at his side. “Why do you keep at me when I keep telling you no?”
A self-satisfied smile curled the expressive mouth. “Because I also happen to be in need of a partner and I want no one but the best at my wing.”
“What makes you think you’re good enough for me?”
The smile turned into a sharp grin and the black jet leaned in close, daring Thundercracker to back away. He didn’t. “Try me and see.”
He didn’t want a partner, but he needed one because work was scarce for a solitary flier and he was scrounging what little funds he had left. Thundercracker didn’t know how a private sector jet would be anywhere near as impressive as the military grade he was used to, but if he didn’t gamble on this chance, he’d fall too far into disrepair. “Alright. I’m Thundercracker.”
“Skywarp.”
~*~*~*~
They couldn’t have looked more outraged if he’d suggested surrendering to the Decepticons outright. “Are you insane?” They burst out all at once. “You’ll get everyone killed! It’s suicide and will leave the rest of us vulnerable!”
“It can work,” Springer stared down the other officers, “if I get the right mechs, I can make it work.”
“You may as well just give them the base!”
“It’s reckless, yes, but that’s precisely why it will work. It’s exactly why the Decepticons keep beating you back.” The triplechanger leaned forward on his hands, palms flat against the projection table they all gathered around. “They have plenty of disgruntled former Autobot personnel. They know all your maneuvers and know how to counter them. Plus the mechs they got from private sectors whose abilities and strategies we’re not familiar with make them harder to predict. We need to stop reacting defensively and adapt our thinking just as they have. This plan is dangerous, yes,” Springer’s optics flared in defiance, “but it’s the only one we have that will give us more than a marginal chance of success.”
They all stared at him and Springer could see their distaste wasn’t so much for the plan as it was for him. He was an upstart, an uncontracted freelancer, a disgraced former officer and he presumed to tell them- military planners who proudly served and lived their entire lives commanding troops and fighting wars -what to do? By ignoring millions of years of carefully recorded and faithfully followed doctrine?
“Alright,” Jazz spoke up for the first time with his gambler’s smile, “tell me what you need Special Ops to do.”
“You’ll also have full support from the air,” Silverbolt agreed.
“And Security,” added Ironhide.
The other officers gaped at the potential career suicide the three just took. “Prime!” They cried, trying to appeal to their highest authority. “Prime, you can’t let him do this! He’ll get us all killed!”
Silently the great mech looked at all his officers, gauging them in his quiet, considering way. Then he looked at the officer who was in charge of the ground forces, the one who had brought Springer on as an advisor. “And you? What do you think?”
“I think you’ve already made your decision,” Roadbuster replied, “and I agree.”
“Very well. Springer, pick your mechs and inform us as to what you need us to do.”
The triplechanger gave a sharp, predatory grin. “Yes, Optimus Prime.”
“And Springer?” Optimus gave a knowing smile. “Consider this the first mission for your Wreckers. If this works, I’ll officially sanction the creation of your team.”
~*~*~*~
This was justice. This was fair. This was everything the Autobots weren’t and everything they should have been. Cybertronians of all forms and functions, from the very low to the disillusioned high, they all came together for the same purpose. They were united to seize for themselves all the things the ruling classes took away, all the things they were denied from the very beginning, just because of their function or their status. Thundercracker was proud to be part of it, to bring equality to his homeworld, to allow any Cybertronian to do and be as they wished, limited only by the quality of their skill and not what they were.
Thundercracker may have had his doubts, but he was glad that Starscream and Skywarp had convinced him to join with them. An explorative scientist and a private sector security jet, flying wing to wing with a top of the line military fighter. The three of them were a symbol. The Autobots- the Old Guard -would have never allowed a trine like them to exist, wouldn’t have allowed Starscream or Skywarp into their ranks no matter how impressive their skills. But in the Decepticons, it was possible. To Megatron, the only things that mattered was skill and loyalty. And there were few that held as much of both as the three jets did.
Starscream was the one chosen to lead the trine and Thundercracker didn’t care. Starscream was the one chosen to command the wings and be Megatron’s second in command and Thundercracker didn’t care because he knew he had the best wingmates created, he knew they were the greatest trine to have ever functioned and he never felt so powerful, so needed, so... free in all his existence.
It was all thanks to Megatron and the Decepticons. It was because of them Thundercracker had finally found a voice for his misgivings and frustrations. It was because of them he found a place he belonged. For them, Thundercracker pledged his talents, his devotion, his everlasting service. For them, Thundercracker would proudly die.
~*~*~*~
“I wouldn’t have come back for anyone but you.”
“I know.”
“You’re the only one who thinks my being here is a good idea.”
“I know.”
“All anyone else cares about is my record.”
“I know.”
“I don’t know if it’s worth it.”
Roadbuster finally turned to Springer, an incredulous light in his optic visor. “Since when have you ever cared about what others think?”
“My career’s been ruined and dead for a long time,” Springer said defensively. “You’re putting your aft on the line bringing me back and I’m wondering if I’m worth the risk.”
“I asked you back precisely because you ignore propriety and tradition in favor of getting the job done the best way you can,” said the combat vehicle in even, unyielding tones. “You don’t back down, you don’t care about how things should be done, you do what needs to be done. And I don’t care whose treads you roll over to do it. Right now, someone like you is exactly what we need.”
Springer looked at his friend for a long, measured moment. Then the tension slowly left his shoulders and he said in a voice that said ‘thank you for giving me this chance’, “Then let’s shake some foundations.”
~*~*~*~
Sometimes Thundercracker wondered why he was still there. He knew why- he had no place else to go, he was too deep into the Decepticons for him to ever get out, for anyone to ever let him forget the things he’d done. Nor would his programming allow him to merely leave behind the two greatest wingmates Thundercracker had ever known. They were simply irreplaceable in their skills, in the ways they made the trine flawless. They were the embodiments of the Decepticon ideal- Starscream’s merciless intelligence and Skywarp’s playful ruthlessness. Thundercracker couldn’t have gotten more perfect partners if he had created them himself.
And that was part of the problem. Because Skywarp was the ends and Starscream the means and Thundercracker didn’t know what he was anymore. He had joined the Decepticons because Starscream was awed by Megatron’s presence and Skywarp wanted guidance and Thundercracker was swayed by the idea of change and revolution. It fueled him to aspire to a greatness that surpassed what he was as an Autobot. It swept him up and spun him about, pulled by talk of ‘the greater good’, ‘the long run’, ‘part of a whole’ until he could barely make sense of what he was doing to what was before him.
It was for the cause. It was for the future. It twisted Thundercracker’s views and morality until it turned him into a perfect, cold-sparked soldier that only followed orders and didn’t question hurting those that couldn’t fight back. Because they were part of the institution that had tried to control everyone, that could pick and disregard whoever it wanted and expected no one to stand up and tell it ‘no’. The leader he followed so staunchly had become disconnected from his own views, the wingmates Thundercracker was so proud of turned cruel, paranoid and treacherous. Thundercracker himself became, as a Decepticon, the very thing he fought against as an Autobot.
And then, one day, it was like he woke up.
~*~*~*~
By the time his contract was half over, he’d heard it all.
“How could they have created such a troublesome officer?”
“He has potential to be a leader but shows no restraint or respect for the chain of command.”
“He incites rebellious attitudes in the troops but questioning and challenging his superiors in front of the lower ranks.”
“He’s practically attempting to usurp command.”
By the time his contract was three-quarters complete, his record ran a gamut of offenses: belligerence, dereliction of orders, disorderly conduct, reckless endangerment- all his merits drowned in instances of bad behavior and complaints from other officers. He was, they said, a threat to the institution and everyone around him.
By the time his contract was up for renewal, Springer did what few others had done in thousands of years. He left, determined to prove what someone like him could do away from the oppressive, stringent command of the Autobots.
~*~*~*~
There was nothing but fury and hurt in Skywarp’s expression and Thundercracker couldn’t feel anything but so damn tired.
“Warp-“
“You betrayed us! You saved those Autobots and those worthless humans!”
“There was no point in killing a race that can’t harm us-“
“I trusted you! You were my brother! You were the greatest partner I ever had and you threw everything we ever worked for away for humans! You’ve betrayed the Decepticons!”
Thundercracker said nothing, knew Skywarp wouldn’t be able to see that the Decepticons had betrayed themselves. That somewhere, through all the battles, they had lost sight of what it was they were fighting for. Some days, Thundercracker couldn’t quite remember what it was, either, but he knew that this wasn’t the way.
“Traitor,” Skywarp sneered, the blasters on his arms whining a high, destructive note. Thundercracker didn’t fight or flinch when they were brought to bear, pointblank. He did nothing but think ‘I’m sorry’ and wasn’t entirely certain what he was sorry for.
All he saw was light and pain and then nothing.
~*~*~*~
“Believe me, out of everyone in our platoon, you’re one of the few I can say for certain don’t need to worry about the future. You’ve got the skill, the knowledge-“
“The patience.”
“-the dedication to really make a name for yourself. Commands across all the systems will be clamoring to get you onboard.”
“Your confidence in me is astounding. I’m almost worried about your opinion of yourself.”
“What, me?” Springer grinned wide and sharp. “I’m gonna be the biggest pain ever and all the officers will be begging to get rid of me.”
Thundercracker couldn’t help an answering smirk spreading across his lips. “I don’t doubt you’ll be enjoying every moment of it.”
“Trust me, TC. A mech like you has the universe in a bag.”
Also, apologies for the lack of beta on this, but I wanted to make sure it was posted on time. So sorry for the delay -.-;;
Title: Everything You (N)Ever Had
Fandom: Transformers
Rating: PG
Word Count: 3037
Characters: Springer, Thundercracker, Roadbuster, Skywarp, various others
In Response to:
springkinkSummary: Transformers, Thundercracker/Springer, Long Separation - "We had it all, and watched it slip away." Beware the interwoven, Memento-style non-linear narration. Vague Megatron Origin and All Hail Megatron references.
“What are you looking so nervous about receiving your orders for? Don’t tell me you’re going to miss the Academy.”
“Considering how sick I’ve gotten looking at the same faces and running constant exercises for a majority of my existence, I think it’s safe to assume that’s one thing I won’t be saying.”
“So you’re afraid of all the unknown out there, huh?”
“Who’s afraid?”
“Believe me, out of everyone in our platoon, you’re one of the few I can say for certain don’t need to worry about the future. You’ve got the skill, the knowledge-“
“The patience.”
“-the dedication to really make a name for yourself. Commands across all the systems will be clamoring to get you onboard.”
“Your confidence in me is astounding. I’m almost worried about your opinion of yourself.”
~*~*~*~
“You’ll be fine, it’s gonna be okay-“
“It will be if you lot got out of my way and let me work here!”
The words were just secondary noise, an absent-minded acknowledgment that Springer thought he was supposed to understand but he couldn’t quite string sense together. All he felt was pain. Pain and the sluggish sense that he still had a job to do.
Something was holding him down and it took Springer a long moment to realize it was someone’s hand on his ruined chestplate. It took even longer for him to realize that the screaming pain in his body was from his attempting to get up.
“Take it easy, Springer,” someone said above him. “You’ve gotten yourself pretty slagged up and I’m not above having someone sit on you to keep you still while I fix you.”
Some bleary corner of his processors labeled the speaker as ‘Ratchet’. Springer’s body went limp, too exhausted and broken to do anything more. In an attempt to escape the pain, his systems began cycling down.
In a far off distance another voice said, just on the edge of Springer’s awareness, “Rest up, kid, you did damn good. I’m proud of you...”
~*~*~*~
He was a rising star. The current height of technological achievement and training. He was an inspiration, his record flawless and reputation glowing. His name was synonymous with practical leadership, carefully weighed decision making and the unwavering loyalty of his wing whom he put in the highest regard. Command couldn’t seem to promote him fast enough, his peers couldn’t help but respect him and there was nothing but praise from those he commanded.
Then, one day, it was like he woke up.
His peers, though they respected him, tried to sabotage him in every subtle way possible. Command, though eager to promote him, gave him offices that were largely ceremonial and far from the outer stations where his tactical knowledge or flight skill was needed. He was being marginalized because, though competent as he was, he couldn’t be controlled by those above him.
The only ones who were as they seemed were the wings he was in charge of. Their loyalty to him was undeniable, unquestionable. It was the kind of loyalty that, when he was arrested for refusing to co-op some of his fliers for a mission he deemed suicidal and pointless, they rioted as he was being restrained.
When Command gave him a chance to repent, to submit to following all orders in the future without question, Thundercracker refused outright. He was sent to the brig and to trial and only his record, stead-fast character and fear of martyring him saved him from being reprogrammed. Instead, after his sentence was served, he was forcibly ejected from the Security Force. That suited Thundercracker fine. If he ever had to deal with an Autobot again, he doubted it would end well.
~*~*~*~
It hurt. He knew- they all knew -that it would one day come down to this, but it still hurt and it still made his internals churn violently. Springer stood before his mechs and tried to pretend he wasn’t shaking down to his bolts. “Wreckers,” he said and there was none of his easy good nature or sly wit, just resignation and guilt, “this mission will likely be our last. We’ve always done into the impossible and we’ve survived but this time... this time is like no other.”
He softened no blows, fed no sideways lines. They would know exactly what they’d be getting into. They would know he trusted them even to the last moment. “This is no battle we can win. Everything is against us- numbers, firepower, support and none of these Decepticons we’ll be up against are like the cowards and bullies we’ve known before. These are Megatron’s best trained, most disciplined troops. Our objective isn’t to route them, our objective is to slow those ‘cons down by any means necessary, to the very last instant of our lives. We will not receive any back up or additional support, we cannot pull back. We have to give our fellow Autobots every nano-klik we can so they can escape.” Springer’s hands pressed into the tabletop and he did not flinch as he met the gaze of every one of his mechs. “This is the mission in which most, if not all of us, will die.”
His words smothered the room- dark, heavy and brutal. Optics and visors darkened, flared, pulsed as the realization that their end had finally come sank in.
“All who want to live, leave. I won’t force anyone to give up their lives and not wanting to die is no weakness. You have all served well and gave to the Autobots more than they could ever repay you for. Whether you leave with our ships or stay at my side, I am proud to have fought with you and to call you my brothers.”
A hand cut through the air, dismissing the tension and noble sentiments as if this mission were like any other. As if they had been prepared to die fighting with their brothers from the moment they first joined the squad. “You’ve never needed to coerce us into facing highly probable death before,” Roadbuster said and intense, predatory grins spread over faceplates, ready to see just what it would take to finally end their savagery. “What’s the plan?”
~*~*~*~
”I’d appreciate if you’d stop following me.”
“Not until you say yes.”
“I don’t need a partner.”
“Yes, you do. No one wants to hire a solo-flier. Makes you look like you can’t cooperate with others.”
“That’s their loss, then.”
“Your problem, too. You’ve got to be high maintenance with your kind of specs. Can’t keep yourself in the air if you have no creds.”
Thundercracker finally turned around, faceplates pulled together in annoyance at the other flier who continually put himself at his side. “Why do you keep at me when I keep telling you no?”
A self-satisfied smile curled the expressive mouth. “Because I also happen to be in need of a partner and I want no one but the best at my wing.”
“What makes you think you’re good enough for me?”
The smile turned into a sharp grin and the black jet leaned in close, daring Thundercracker to back away. He didn’t. “Try me and see.”
He didn’t want a partner, but he needed one because work was scarce for a solitary flier and he was scrounging what little funds he had left. Thundercracker didn’t know how a private sector jet would be anywhere near as impressive as the military grade he was used to, but if he didn’t gamble on this chance, he’d fall too far into disrepair. “Alright. I’m Thundercracker.”
“Skywarp.”
~*~*~*~
They couldn’t have looked more outraged if he’d suggested surrendering to the Decepticons outright. “Are you insane?” They burst out all at once. “You’ll get everyone killed! It’s suicide and will leave the rest of us vulnerable!”
“It can work,” Springer stared down the other officers, “if I get the right mechs, I can make it work.”
“You may as well just give them the base!”
“It’s reckless, yes, but that’s precisely why it will work. It’s exactly why the Decepticons keep beating you back.” The triplechanger leaned forward on his hands, palms flat against the projection table they all gathered around. “They have plenty of disgruntled former Autobot personnel. They know all your maneuvers and know how to counter them. Plus the mechs they got from private sectors whose abilities and strategies we’re not familiar with make them harder to predict. We need to stop reacting defensively and adapt our thinking just as they have. This plan is dangerous, yes,” Springer’s optics flared in defiance, “but it’s the only one we have that will give us more than a marginal chance of success.”
They all stared at him and Springer could see their distaste wasn’t so much for the plan as it was for him. He was an upstart, an uncontracted freelancer, a disgraced former officer and he presumed to tell them- military planners who proudly served and lived their entire lives commanding troops and fighting wars -what to do? By ignoring millions of years of carefully recorded and faithfully followed doctrine?
“Alright,” Jazz spoke up for the first time with his gambler’s smile, “tell me what you need Special Ops to do.”
“You’ll also have full support from the air,” Silverbolt agreed.
“And Security,” added Ironhide.
The other officers gaped at the potential career suicide the three just took. “Prime!” They cried, trying to appeal to their highest authority. “Prime, you can’t let him do this! He’ll get us all killed!”
Silently the great mech looked at all his officers, gauging them in his quiet, considering way. Then he looked at the officer who was in charge of the ground forces, the one who had brought Springer on as an advisor. “And you? What do you think?”
“I think you’ve already made your decision,” Roadbuster replied, “and I agree.”
“Very well. Springer, pick your mechs and inform us as to what you need us to do.”
The triplechanger gave a sharp, predatory grin. “Yes, Optimus Prime.”
“And Springer?” Optimus gave a knowing smile. “Consider this the first mission for your Wreckers. If this works, I’ll officially sanction the creation of your team.”
~*~*~*~
This was justice. This was fair. This was everything the Autobots weren’t and everything they should have been. Cybertronians of all forms and functions, from the very low to the disillusioned high, they all came together for the same purpose. They were united to seize for themselves all the things the ruling classes took away, all the things they were denied from the very beginning, just because of their function or their status. Thundercracker was proud to be part of it, to bring equality to his homeworld, to allow any Cybertronian to do and be as they wished, limited only by the quality of their skill and not what they were.
Thundercracker may have had his doubts, but he was glad that Starscream and Skywarp had convinced him to join with them. An explorative scientist and a private sector security jet, flying wing to wing with a top of the line military fighter. The three of them were a symbol. The Autobots- the Old Guard -would have never allowed a trine like them to exist, wouldn’t have allowed Starscream or Skywarp into their ranks no matter how impressive their skills. But in the Decepticons, it was possible. To Megatron, the only things that mattered was skill and loyalty. And there were few that held as much of both as the three jets did.
Starscream was the one chosen to lead the trine and Thundercracker didn’t care. Starscream was the one chosen to command the wings and be Megatron’s second in command and Thundercracker didn’t care because he knew he had the best wingmates created, he knew they were the greatest trine to have ever functioned and he never felt so powerful, so needed, so... free in all his existence.
It was all thanks to Megatron and the Decepticons. It was because of them Thundercracker had finally found a voice for his misgivings and frustrations. It was because of them he found a place he belonged. For them, Thundercracker pledged his talents, his devotion, his everlasting service. For them, Thundercracker would proudly die.
~*~*~*~
“I wouldn’t have come back for anyone but you.”
“I know.”
“You’re the only one who thinks my being here is a good idea.”
“I know.”
“All anyone else cares about is my record.”
“I know.”
“I don’t know if it’s worth it.”
Roadbuster finally turned to Springer, an incredulous light in his optic visor. “Since when have you ever cared about what others think?”
“My career’s been ruined and dead for a long time,” Springer said defensively. “You’re putting your aft on the line bringing me back and I’m wondering if I’m worth the risk.”
“I asked you back precisely because you ignore propriety and tradition in favor of getting the job done the best way you can,” said the combat vehicle in even, unyielding tones. “You don’t back down, you don’t care about how things should be done, you do what needs to be done. And I don’t care whose treads you roll over to do it. Right now, someone like you is exactly what we need.”
Springer looked at his friend for a long, measured moment. Then the tension slowly left his shoulders and he said in a voice that said ‘thank you for giving me this chance’, “Then let’s shake some foundations.”
~*~*~*~
Sometimes Thundercracker wondered why he was still there. He knew why- he had no place else to go, he was too deep into the Decepticons for him to ever get out, for anyone to ever let him forget the things he’d done. Nor would his programming allow him to merely leave behind the two greatest wingmates Thundercracker had ever known. They were simply irreplaceable in their skills, in the ways they made the trine flawless. They were the embodiments of the Decepticon ideal- Starscream’s merciless intelligence and Skywarp’s playful ruthlessness. Thundercracker couldn’t have gotten more perfect partners if he had created them himself.
And that was part of the problem. Because Skywarp was the ends and Starscream the means and Thundercracker didn’t know what he was anymore. He had joined the Decepticons because Starscream was awed by Megatron’s presence and Skywarp wanted guidance and Thundercracker was swayed by the idea of change and revolution. It fueled him to aspire to a greatness that surpassed what he was as an Autobot. It swept him up and spun him about, pulled by talk of ‘the greater good’, ‘the long run’, ‘part of a whole’ until he could barely make sense of what he was doing to what was before him.
It was for the cause. It was for the future. It twisted Thundercracker’s views and morality until it turned him into a perfect, cold-sparked soldier that only followed orders and didn’t question hurting those that couldn’t fight back. Because they were part of the institution that had tried to control everyone, that could pick and disregard whoever it wanted and expected no one to stand up and tell it ‘no’. The leader he followed so staunchly had become disconnected from his own views, the wingmates Thundercracker was so proud of turned cruel, paranoid and treacherous. Thundercracker himself became, as a Decepticon, the very thing he fought against as an Autobot.
And then, one day, it was like he woke up.
~*~*~*~
By the time his contract was half over, he’d heard it all.
“How could they have created such a troublesome officer?”
“He has potential to be a leader but shows no restraint or respect for the chain of command.”
“He incites rebellious attitudes in the troops but questioning and challenging his superiors in front of the lower ranks.”
“He’s practically attempting to usurp command.”
By the time his contract was three-quarters complete, his record ran a gamut of offenses: belligerence, dereliction of orders, disorderly conduct, reckless endangerment- all his merits drowned in instances of bad behavior and complaints from other officers. He was, they said, a threat to the institution and everyone around him.
By the time his contract was up for renewal, Springer did what few others had done in thousands of years. He left, determined to prove what someone like him could do away from the oppressive, stringent command of the Autobots.
~*~*~*~
There was nothing but fury and hurt in Skywarp’s expression and Thundercracker couldn’t feel anything but so damn tired.
“Warp-“
“You betrayed us! You saved those Autobots and those worthless humans!”
“There was no point in killing a race that can’t harm us-“
“I trusted you! You were my brother! You were the greatest partner I ever had and you threw everything we ever worked for away for humans! You’ve betrayed the Decepticons!”
Thundercracker said nothing, knew Skywarp wouldn’t be able to see that the Decepticons had betrayed themselves. That somewhere, through all the battles, they had lost sight of what it was they were fighting for. Some days, Thundercracker couldn’t quite remember what it was, either, but he knew that this wasn’t the way.
“Traitor,” Skywarp sneered, the blasters on his arms whining a high, destructive note. Thundercracker didn’t fight or flinch when they were brought to bear, pointblank. He did nothing but think ‘I’m sorry’ and wasn’t entirely certain what he was sorry for.
All he saw was light and pain and then nothing.
~*~*~*~
“Believe me, out of everyone in our platoon, you’re one of the few I can say for certain don’t need to worry about the future. You’ve got the skill, the knowledge-“
“The patience.”
“-the dedication to really make a name for yourself. Commands across all the systems will be clamoring to get you onboard.”
“Your confidence in me is astounding. I’m almost worried about your opinion of yourself.”
“What, me?” Springer grinned wide and sharp. “I’m gonna be the biggest pain ever and all the officers will be begging to get rid of me.”
Thundercracker couldn’t help an answering smirk spreading across his lips. “I don’t doubt you’ll be enjoying every moment of it.”
“Trust me, TC. A mech like you has the universe in a bag.”
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no subject
Date: 2010-01-26 07:08 am (UTC)This was a very intriguing read. I like how you go backwards with springer's story and forwards with TC's and then bring it together at the end. It was very nicely done. :)
no subject
Date: 2010-01-26 10:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-28 07:55 am (UTC)Brava.
You make me ache for these characters, for the senseless, bitter divide that this war has brought forth and the wreckage of lives and loves left in wake.
Please, please tell me the suicide mission of the Wreckers doesn't succeed. If Ti and her boys don't make it....
(goes off to her own techno organic dragon happy land, the multiverse where you can choose your happy ending, just need to knock down a few interdimensional doors.)
no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 09:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-31 05:08 am (UTC)Gotcha.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 02:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 09:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-30 07:48 am (UTC)I am stunned. I...I have nothing else to say.
*sniffle*
no subject
Date: 2010-01-30 09:21 am (UTC)