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ajremixTitle: Morning Calm, Midnight Fall
Fandom: Pacific Rim (courier faction au)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3458
Characters: Sterling, Ryland, Kirin, Rhodan
Summary: As a kid Sterling never imagined himself fighting in a giant robot, not even when he was older and his
little brother decided to become a Jaeger pilot. This is the story of how he came to die in one anyway.
After everything he'd heard from others and read in reports, Sterling hadn't quite figured out how the Fuentes twins got their reputations. Sure he heard the grumbling and rumors floating around the base, but they never seemed to get into the kind of trouble that would, say, require Deputy Rivers to call in once a month to check up on them.
"You could just ask them yourself," Sterling had told her once.
"I don't want to talk to them," she said flatly, "I just want to know they're keeping their noses clean."
He humored her because she didn't seem like the kind of woman that would make a big deal out of nothing. Even if he thought she was making a big deal out of nothing.
And then someone told Sterling that one of the Swedes- a huge hulk of a man that wrestled polar bears as a child and lugged around plasma cannons on his own -was out with a sternal fracture and dislocated jaw and that Rhodan was the one that did it. When he arrived at the security office to find out what happened, the chief just looked at him as if shocked that he had come.
"Just tell me," Sterling ordered. Then added, "Please," because he still didn't feel like he was in charge of anything. The chief just handed over a file- a thick file -and Sterling's jaw dropped. "What's all this?"
"You want to look through Rhodan Fuentes's file, right? That's everything."
"I don't need his entire career!"
"That's just from here."
Stunned, Sterling flipped through the pages. They were incident reports, all from his time in Jeju. Minor infractions, mostly- heated arguments, belligerence, a few scuffles that never get worse than a bruise or two. But they were all things that Sterling- who prided himself on finding things out -hadn't known about.
His voice was tight when he said, "Why did I not see these reports?"
"Because they weren't worth bringing to your attention. He never did anything that endangered the pilots and all parties involved were disciplined without trouble."
Sterling wanted to argue but until he knew the contents of the file he had nothing to work with. And after he'd read through it he was too furious to spread his anger out to more than one target. Granted he was more mad at himself for not knowing as much about the base and its personnel as he thought he did, but Rhodan was the source of the issue, making him the one he wanted he wanted to vent at.
By the time he got to the brig- which they had and Sterling had to swallow his anger enough to ask someone the location of -Rhodan was beginning out processing. Kirin was there, waiting patiently and raising an eyebrow when Sterling all but stomped into the room. "Guess you found out, huh?"
"Found out this wasn't the first incident, either."
She snorted, "It's the first real fight he's had with anyone outside the kwoon since Sydney."
"I just read eight reports that said otherwise."
"Please, those didn't even draw blood."
He could feel his temper rising. Sterling couldn't remember the last time he'd actually gotten mad. "Neither did this one."
Kirin put her hands to her hips and finally turned to Sterling. "What exactly are you mad about? If you read the reports, you'd know he's not entirely to blame for any of that."
"He put one of our best weapons engineers in the hospital. But since it wasn't his fault, I guess that makes it okay! Who cares if we don't have a full staff as it is?"
"Tch. 'Course you'd start acting like this. I told him with his luck you'd get all high-n-mighty 'bout it."
"About the fact he's gotten into eight fights in six months?"
Her gaze was cold, a blue laser that was ready to cut him down. "You don't know us. You don't know what we've gone through, what people like you put us through. We're not your chained dogs you can lock in a cage whenever you're done making us fight for you."
Anger overrode Sterling's gut instinct to shy from what might possibly devolve into a physical confrontation. But his brain stabbed through he's want to bristle because Kirin wasn't talking just about him, but something that had dictated her- and subsequently Rhodan's -life for about as long as she could remember. So he stilled and looked over at Rhodan who had, at some point, noticed him as he was filling out paperwork, eyes constantly darting up to Sterling and his sister.
He took a long breath, turned to Kirin, and said, "Tell me what happened."
That hard, defensive thing she'd built up all her life thawed a bit and she told him. About how Rhodan's infamous temper was often used against him by those he managed to piss off either by action or by reputation. How sometimes others would target him with ridicule and pranks, purposefully taunting him until he snapped. Because he always did and so many of their superiors didn't care that others slurred him, verbally whittled away until they found something to use against him, they just cared that he threw the first punch. Even though that was the way he had to grow up, even though that's what the PPDC hired him to do.
"Eight fights in six months is nothing," Kirin said. "Last five in Sydney he got into sixteen."
"What changed? Less vindictive personnel? The chief being more understanding?"
"Might be part of it." She gave Sterling an odd look. "You realize he's trying to impress you, right?"
"Impress me?" The incredulity in his voice may have made him loud enough that Rhodan could hear from the processing counter. "How is this trying to impress me?"
Kirin rolled her eyes and ignored the way her brother was shooting her furious glares in hopes she'd spontaneously combust. "I'm not talking about what happened, I'm talking about everything else. He's been on his best behavior for you."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, since you're obviously not going to figure it out on your own and Rhodan is too proud to outright say it: he thinks you're cute."
That threw what was left of his ire on ice, "Uh..."
"'Cute' might not be accurate wording. Stupidly infatuated to the point he's actually working to reign in his temper works. Also he would like to bend you over a ta-blph!"
Rhodan's hand clamped tight over the entire bottom half of Kirin's face, forcibly dragging her away. He didn't even give Sterling a backward glance, not when the stark, yellow lighting made it obvious how deep he was blushing. Not that Sterling was in the state of mind to notice with his own face burning up.
~*~*~*~
The next few days was a bit of an awkward affair which was impressive given that Sterling and Rhodan didn't really cross paths that often. But Sterling kept finding excuses to not watch and call out hints during Ryland and Dong Hoon's training matches and Rhodan had become too interested in Kirin and Adelei's conversations to notice anything else in the mess.
Ryland eventually cornered him and asked, "형, what's wrong with you?"
"Nothing's wrong." At the long, silent stare Sterling fidgeted and amended, "I don't want to talk about it."
"Because you don't want to? Or because you're embarrassed?"
"I... don't actually know what it is that's bothering me."
Ryland looked a few tables over where Rhodan was all but buried in his food. "Are you still mad about that fight?"
"Not really." He cupped his chin in hand and watched the way Rhodan's sharp eyes focused on Kirin who had decided Adelei needed to be in a headlock for some reason. "Talked to a lot of the mechanics and security and while they all agreed Rhodan's a timebomb, they said the guy- Andersson -apparently had some sort of vendetta on Rhodan for a while. Been trying to start something with him since the base opened and the only reason why he took this long to snap was because someone always managed to intervene. No one else actually saw how it all went down, but they're pretty sure Andersson probably deserved it."
"So what's going to happen to him?"
"Once medical clears him for travel, he's being sent to Vladivostok. He'll either straighten up there or be kicked from the PPDC."
It wasn't exactly difficult for Ryland to catch him looking. "If you like Rhodan, just go for it."
His cheeks went red. "I can't do that!"
"Why not?"
"Because I don't know if I do!"
"아이씨... 진짜 돌겠네. Just ask him out! That's pretty much half the purpose for dating- to see if you actually like each other!"
"I don't... actually know how to do that." The utter lack of intimate relationships had never bothered Sterling before but now he was reeling in his inadequacy. It was not a sensation he enjoyed.
"You've had people ask you out in the past- I've seen you brush them off plenty of times." Ryland tactfully did not mention most of those Sterling hadn't realized were come-ons until after the fact, "Just go off of that. Ask him to eat lunch with you, then ask him about himself and decide if it's worth pursuing any."
"If there's one thing television has taught me it's that it can't be that easy."
Ryland just shrugged, "Never did me wrong."
But while having a plan of action was something, figuring out the best way to implement it was a whole other beast. Sterling was still too busy to track down Rhodan who was still doing is level best not to be easily available. Which was the truth so long as Sterling neglected to mention he wasn't trying very hard to do any actual tracking as he was still trying to figure out just how to broach the subject.
So he may have been dragging his feet. A lot. Enough so that Ryland and Dong Hoon- fuck, he must've picked it up in the Drift -glared flatly at him whenever he pointedly did not notice when Rhodan was around. Sterling just pushed it from his mind as he commed the mechanics to send him the results of Chosun Raider's power generator testings. He quickly regretted not sending someone down to get it instead when Kirin apparently thought it was a good idea to have her brother play messenger.
Rhodan looked as cool and unruffled as Sterling definitely wasn't feeling. "Your report," he said lowly, holding out the file until Sterling remembered how to work his fingers.
"Um... thank you."
A silence, awkward and thin, fell between them and Sterling could tell Rhodan was waiting for something from him but he had no idea what. Rhodan was not a patient man. If he wanted something, he went for it. If he wanted something from someone specifically, he made that fact known. So why was he suddenly-
The realization hit Sterling between the eyes. He was waiting for Sterling's move. Kirin had already made Rhodan's intentions known, so it was up to Sterling if this whatever it was ended up dead in the water or not. The thought that Rhodan had, very patiently, been doing his best not to seem pressuring, waited for him to make a decision made Sterling's mouth go dry.
The awkward silence stretched on. Rhodan muttered something that might have been Spanish or maybe just too low for Sterling to understand. "Well then-"
"Do you." The words got caught in his throat as Rhodan's eyes- intense, blue and burning something in the pit of Sterling's stomach that was hot and cold at the same time -locked onto his. This wasn't the first time Sterling willingly stepped into something entirely new, freefalling headfirst in a situation he'd never considered before, not knowing what he was doing. "Do you... wanna grab lunch sometime?"
Rhodan's lashes lowered and for a brief moment he almost looked shy. "Tomorrow."
"Okay. Tomorrow."
---
"아이씨... 진짜 돌겠네." - "(sound of frustration/anger, untranslatable) I'm seriously going crazy/frustrated."
---
~*~*~*~
Ryland didn't even look up when Sterling sat next to him, "Anand tells me you have a date tomorrow."
"Shut up," was all he gets in return. Their eyes were glued to the news stream being projected against the mess's wall. They're far from the only ones impatiently enthralled with all the talking heads. It seemed like everyone in the world was watching the first public unveiling of the first Mark-V, possibly because every media channel was focusing on it. As the feed cut from the newscaster to the Jaeger's bay, an intense hush fell over the mess. Then, with the camera's first pan of Striker Eureka, every technician and mechanic began muttering about its appearance and the stats scrolling on screen.
Sterling just elbowed his brother and asked, "So what'd you think?" He could see from the look on Ryland's face he wasn't impressed.
"Not a fan."
"Why not? You were gushing all over the Mark-V's potential when we first got Raider."
Ryland's face creased further, "It looks like a car on legs."
Personally Sterling didn't see the problem, being a fan of cars, "What's wrong with that?"
"If we were piloting Transformers it'd be fine but these are Jaegers. They're supposed to be giant robos."
"So you don't like it because it doesn't look like a Gundam?"
"I can appreciate what it's capable of while not liking how it looks," he said with a sniff and Sterling almost couldn't stop himself from busting out laughing- it was such a Dong Hoon thing to complain about.
~*~*~*~
Sterling and Rhodan's first 'date', as everyone was determined to call it, didn't exactly go over well. Neither did the ones that followed. As much as a disarming charmer Sterling could be, it was still difficult to carry on a conversation when the only other participant was prickly and answered in the shortest amount of words possible. The only reason why Sterling kept at it was because he could see that Rhodan was frustrated at his own shortness. Apparently Sterling wasn't the only one floundering with the realities of a relationship.
Adelei eventually pulled him aside before another date to say, "Did you know that Rhodan made Raider's emblem?" She smiled as if that was the answer to everything and Sterling thought what the hell- couldn't end any worse than his other conversational attempts.
Bringing it up made something spark in Rhodan's eyes that Sterling had never seen, even in the kwoon. "Also designed the one for Matador Fury. Drew up one for Striker Eureka, but their pilots changed it at the last minute."
"I didn't know you were an artist."
"I'm not, really." From the slant of his eyes it was obvious that Rhodan regretted that was the case. "Artists had a hard enough time surviving before the kaiju. Now it's almost impossible."
"So you went into security instead?"
"Fighting and art are the only things I know how to do."
Sterling's mind pinged back to Kirin's comment on 'going legit' and he folded his arms on the table and leaned forward, "What did you used to do?"
Just like that, Rhodan told him everything that was kept out of his personnel records: how he and Kirin were just a couple kids roaming around the streets of Apopa, thieving to get by until they were strong enough to take what they needed. He talked about being street brawlers until they were hired on to rough up people for local gangs. He talked about the mother- not their mother, just a woman called La Madre who had beds and food for kids and teens who didn't have their own, who treated all of them sternly but fairly and demanded nothing of them but to not bring trouble into her home. She changed the twins' lives, made them want to protect her, repay her for her compassion, made them want to go straight even if they didn't know how. She never judged them for their failures, for all the times they kept falling back into bad habits, just quietly set them back on their feet and even let them claim her family name as theirs.
And then the kaiju came and the PPDC formed, so desperate for bodies that the twins saw their chance and jumped for it. They'd never been out of El Salvador before- had never even considered it a possibility, but now they'd been all over the world, had their minds opened to so many new things and the when they'd gone back to Apopa, La Madre had actually cried, telling them how proud she was.
"Why do you even like me?" It came out before Sterling could stop it, blunt and perhaps slightly disbelieving. But he knew the type of person Rhodan was and having the patience and restraint to deal with someone as romantically inept as Sterling was not generally in their skillset. "How did this even start?"
"You understand what it's like to have a younger sibling."
"I'd have to double check, but I'm pretty sure there's lots of people with one or more younger sibling."
Rhodan's eyes were intense- which seemed to be how they always were but it never failed to make Sterling shiver a bit every time they locked on to his. "They don't treat them the way we do. You'd do anything for Ryland, including not hold him back. You'd fight every battle for him if you knew he didn't want to do it himself. You would sacrifice anything for him, but you're willing to do it because you know he'd never ask you to."
Sterling said nothing but his hand curled around his spoon. He'd always known his relationship with Ryland wasn't like most siblings he'd known. He knew even without all the snide remarks and teasing he'd gotten throughout his life, all the judgmental questions about how he could be so close to a kid five years younger than him. A psychologist would probably trace it back to the loss of their parents, but to Sterling it was simply because they were brothers.
"Back when I attempted relationships, everyone either got jealous of how I was with Kirin or they expected me to treat them the same way I do her. But you understand. To you, no one will ever be more important than Ryland, so you'd never ask for me to make you more important than Kirin."
He smiled thinly. "Not exactly the most stable thing to base a relationship on."
"Maybe if that were the only thing," Rhodan shot back. "Why are you giving me a chance? Both in the base and with you?"
"When I was in the Academy I got to Drift once with Marshall Pentecost. He connected through intention instead of memory so I have some idea as to the kind of man he is, at least when it comes to being in charge. He plays the long game. If he thinks the outcome is worth the hassle, he'll take a gamble on you. If he thinks you have potential, he'll find ways to deal with bad attitudes." He folded his hands together and propped his chin on the backs of them. "Pentecost was the one that recommended you to be a trainer, so I knew you had to be good. Admittedly I thought you being were a little too harsh, but there's no denying you got results and your methods are very intelligent and clever. Ryland and Dong Hoon have great faith in you and Deputy Rivers is always checking up on you and your sister and none of them are the type that would put up with a bully."
"So you're giving me a chance based on other people's opinions?"
"I'm giving you a chance because I agree with them. You've got a lot of heart in you, the way you push Ryland and Dong Hoon and Adelei to be stronger, more confident. Admittedly I never thought about getting into a relationship with you- or anyone -but part of dating is about getting to know each other better, right?" Sterling smiled. It was the kind of smile that made even the coldest hearts trip up, open, honest and absolutely beautiful. "I certainly would like to get to know you better."
Rhodan ducked his head, trying to hide the pink on his cheeks and a smile somewhere between shy and proud. It made Sterling realize that while Rhodan may have experience with physical intimacy, he had about as much of a clue as to the interpersonal side of dating as Sterling did. So he reached over and hooked Rhodan's fingers with his own.
Guess they'd figure it out together.
Fandom: Pacific Rim (courier faction au)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3458
Characters: Sterling, Ryland, Kirin, Rhodan
Summary: As a kid Sterling never imagined himself fighting in a giant robot, not even when he was older and his
little brother decided to become a Jaeger pilot. This is the story of how he came to die in one anyway.
After everything he'd heard from others and read in reports, Sterling hadn't quite figured out how the Fuentes twins got their reputations. Sure he heard the grumbling and rumors floating around the base, but they never seemed to get into the kind of trouble that would, say, require Deputy Rivers to call in once a month to check up on them.
"You could just ask them yourself," Sterling had told her once.
"I don't want to talk to them," she said flatly, "I just want to know they're keeping their noses clean."
He humored her because she didn't seem like the kind of woman that would make a big deal out of nothing. Even if he thought she was making a big deal out of nothing.
And then someone told Sterling that one of the Swedes- a huge hulk of a man that wrestled polar bears as a child and lugged around plasma cannons on his own -was out with a sternal fracture and dislocated jaw and that Rhodan was the one that did it. When he arrived at the security office to find out what happened, the chief just looked at him as if shocked that he had come.
"Just tell me," Sterling ordered. Then added, "Please," because he still didn't feel like he was in charge of anything. The chief just handed over a file- a thick file -and Sterling's jaw dropped. "What's all this?"
"You want to look through Rhodan Fuentes's file, right? That's everything."
"I don't need his entire career!"
"That's just from here."
Stunned, Sterling flipped through the pages. They were incident reports, all from his time in Jeju. Minor infractions, mostly- heated arguments, belligerence, a few scuffles that never get worse than a bruise or two. But they were all things that Sterling- who prided himself on finding things out -hadn't known about.
His voice was tight when he said, "Why did I not see these reports?"
"Because they weren't worth bringing to your attention. He never did anything that endangered the pilots and all parties involved were disciplined without trouble."
Sterling wanted to argue but until he knew the contents of the file he had nothing to work with. And after he'd read through it he was too furious to spread his anger out to more than one target. Granted he was more mad at himself for not knowing as much about the base and its personnel as he thought he did, but Rhodan was the source of the issue, making him the one he wanted he wanted to vent at.
By the time he got to the brig- which they had and Sterling had to swallow his anger enough to ask someone the location of -Rhodan was beginning out processing. Kirin was there, waiting patiently and raising an eyebrow when Sterling all but stomped into the room. "Guess you found out, huh?"
"Found out this wasn't the first incident, either."
She snorted, "It's the first real fight he's had with anyone outside the kwoon since Sydney."
"I just read eight reports that said otherwise."
"Please, those didn't even draw blood."
He could feel his temper rising. Sterling couldn't remember the last time he'd actually gotten mad. "Neither did this one."
Kirin put her hands to her hips and finally turned to Sterling. "What exactly are you mad about? If you read the reports, you'd know he's not entirely to blame for any of that."
"He put one of our best weapons engineers in the hospital. But since it wasn't his fault, I guess that makes it okay! Who cares if we don't have a full staff as it is?"
"Tch. 'Course you'd start acting like this. I told him with his luck you'd get all high-n-mighty 'bout it."
"About the fact he's gotten into eight fights in six months?"
Her gaze was cold, a blue laser that was ready to cut him down. "You don't know us. You don't know what we've gone through, what people like you put us through. We're not your chained dogs you can lock in a cage whenever you're done making us fight for you."
Anger overrode Sterling's gut instinct to shy from what might possibly devolve into a physical confrontation. But his brain stabbed through he's want to bristle because Kirin wasn't talking just about him, but something that had dictated her- and subsequently Rhodan's -life for about as long as she could remember. So he stilled and looked over at Rhodan who had, at some point, noticed him as he was filling out paperwork, eyes constantly darting up to Sterling and his sister.
He took a long breath, turned to Kirin, and said, "Tell me what happened."
That hard, defensive thing she'd built up all her life thawed a bit and she told him. About how Rhodan's infamous temper was often used against him by those he managed to piss off either by action or by reputation. How sometimes others would target him with ridicule and pranks, purposefully taunting him until he snapped. Because he always did and so many of their superiors didn't care that others slurred him, verbally whittled away until they found something to use against him, they just cared that he threw the first punch. Even though that was the way he had to grow up, even though that's what the PPDC hired him to do.
"Eight fights in six months is nothing," Kirin said. "Last five in Sydney he got into sixteen."
"What changed? Less vindictive personnel? The chief being more understanding?"
"Might be part of it." She gave Sterling an odd look. "You realize he's trying to impress you, right?"
"Impress me?" The incredulity in his voice may have made him loud enough that Rhodan could hear from the processing counter. "How is this trying to impress me?"
Kirin rolled her eyes and ignored the way her brother was shooting her furious glares in hopes she'd spontaneously combust. "I'm not talking about what happened, I'm talking about everything else. He's been on his best behavior for you."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, since you're obviously not going to figure it out on your own and Rhodan is too proud to outright say it: he thinks you're cute."
That threw what was left of his ire on ice, "Uh..."
"'Cute' might not be accurate wording. Stupidly infatuated to the point he's actually working to reign in his temper works. Also he would like to bend you over a ta-blph!"
Rhodan's hand clamped tight over the entire bottom half of Kirin's face, forcibly dragging her away. He didn't even give Sterling a backward glance, not when the stark, yellow lighting made it obvious how deep he was blushing. Not that Sterling was in the state of mind to notice with his own face burning up.
~*~*~*~
The next few days was a bit of an awkward affair which was impressive given that Sterling and Rhodan didn't really cross paths that often. But Sterling kept finding excuses to not watch and call out hints during Ryland and Dong Hoon's training matches and Rhodan had become too interested in Kirin and Adelei's conversations to notice anything else in the mess.
Ryland eventually cornered him and asked, "형, what's wrong with you?"
"Nothing's wrong." At the long, silent stare Sterling fidgeted and amended, "I don't want to talk about it."
"Because you don't want to? Or because you're embarrassed?"
"I... don't actually know what it is that's bothering me."
Ryland looked a few tables over where Rhodan was all but buried in his food. "Are you still mad about that fight?"
"Not really." He cupped his chin in hand and watched the way Rhodan's sharp eyes focused on Kirin who had decided Adelei needed to be in a headlock for some reason. "Talked to a lot of the mechanics and security and while they all agreed Rhodan's a timebomb, they said the guy- Andersson -apparently had some sort of vendetta on Rhodan for a while. Been trying to start something with him since the base opened and the only reason why he took this long to snap was because someone always managed to intervene. No one else actually saw how it all went down, but they're pretty sure Andersson probably deserved it."
"So what's going to happen to him?"
"Once medical clears him for travel, he's being sent to Vladivostok. He'll either straighten up there or be kicked from the PPDC."
It wasn't exactly difficult for Ryland to catch him looking. "If you like Rhodan, just go for it."
His cheeks went red. "I can't do that!"
"Why not?"
"Because I don't know if I do!"
"아이씨... 진짜 돌겠네. Just ask him out! That's pretty much half the purpose for dating- to see if you actually like each other!"
"I don't... actually know how to do that." The utter lack of intimate relationships had never bothered Sterling before but now he was reeling in his inadequacy. It was not a sensation he enjoyed.
"You've had people ask you out in the past- I've seen you brush them off plenty of times." Ryland tactfully did not mention most of those Sterling hadn't realized were come-ons until after the fact, "Just go off of that. Ask him to eat lunch with you, then ask him about himself and decide if it's worth pursuing any."
"If there's one thing television has taught me it's that it can't be that easy."
Ryland just shrugged, "Never did me wrong."
But while having a plan of action was something, figuring out the best way to implement it was a whole other beast. Sterling was still too busy to track down Rhodan who was still doing is level best not to be easily available. Which was the truth so long as Sterling neglected to mention he wasn't trying very hard to do any actual tracking as he was still trying to figure out just how to broach the subject.
So he may have been dragging his feet. A lot. Enough so that Ryland and Dong Hoon- fuck, he must've picked it up in the Drift -glared flatly at him whenever he pointedly did not notice when Rhodan was around. Sterling just pushed it from his mind as he commed the mechanics to send him the results of Chosun Raider's power generator testings. He quickly regretted not sending someone down to get it instead when Kirin apparently thought it was a good idea to have her brother play messenger.
Rhodan looked as cool and unruffled as Sterling definitely wasn't feeling. "Your report," he said lowly, holding out the file until Sterling remembered how to work his fingers.
"Um... thank you."
A silence, awkward and thin, fell between them and Sterling could tell Rhodan was waiting for something from him but he had no idea what. Rhodan was not a patient man. If he wanted something, he went for it. If he wanted something from someone specifically, he made that fact known. So why was he suddenly-
The realization hit Sterling between the eyes. He was waiting for Sterling's move. Kirin had already made Rhodan's intentions known, so it was up to Sterling if this whatever it was ended up dead in the water or not. The thought that Rhodan had, very patiently, been doing his best not to seem pressuring, waited for him to make a decision made Sterling's mouth go dry.
The awkward silence stretched on. Rhodan muttered something that might have been Spanish or maybe just too low for Sterling to understand. "Well then-"
"Do you." The words got caught in his throat as Rhodan's eyes- intense, blue and burning something in the pit of Sterling's stomach that was hot and cold at the same time -locked onto his. This wasn't the first time Sterling willingly stepped into something entirely new, freefalling headfirst in a situation he'd never considered before, not knowing what he was doing. "Do you... wanna grab lunch sometime?"
Rhodan's lashes lowered and for a brief moment he almost looked shy. "Tomorrow."
"Okay. Tomorrow."
---
"아이씨... 진짜 돌겠네." - "(sound of frustration/anger, untranslatable) I'm seriously going crazy/frustrated."
---
~*~*~*~
Ryland didn't even look up when Sterling sat next to him, "Anand tells me you have a date tomorrow."
"Shut up," was all he gets in return. Their eyes were glued to the news stream being projected against the mess's wall. They're far from the only ones impatiently enthralled with all the talking heads. It seemed like everyone in the world was watching the first public unveiling of the first Mark-V, possibly because every media channel was focusing on it. As the feed cut from the newscaster to the Jaeger's bay, an intense hush fell over the mess. Then, with the camera's first pan of Striker Eureka, every technician and mechanic began muttering about its appearance and the stats scrolling on screen.
Sterling just elbowed his brother and asked, "So what'd you think?" He could see from the look on Ryland's face he wasn't impressed.
"Not a fan."
"Why not? You were gushing all over the Mark-V's potential when we first got Raider."
Ryland's face creased further, "It looks like a car on legs."
Personally Sterling didn't see the problem, being a fan of cars, "What's wrong with that?"
"If we were piloting Transformers it'd be fine but these are Jaegers. They're supposed to be giant robos."
"So you don't like it because it doesn't look like a Gundam?"
"I can appreciate what it's capable of while not liking how it looks," he said with a sniff and Sterling almost couldn't stop himself from busting out laughing- it was such a Dong Hoon thing to complain about.
~*~*~*~
Sterling and Rhodan's first 'date', as everyone was determined to call it, didn't exactly go over well. Neither did the ones that followed. As much as a disarming charmer Sterling could be, it was still difficult to carry on a conversation when the only other participant was prickly and answered in the shortest amount of words possible. The only reason why Sterling kept at it was because he could see that Rhodan was frustrated at his own shortness. Apparently Sterling wasn't the only one floundering with the realities of a relationship.
Adelei eventually pulled him aside before another date to say, "Did you know that Rhodan made Raider's emblem?" She smiled as if that was the answer to everything and Sterling thought what the hell- couldn't end any worse than his other conversational attempts.
Bringing it up made something spark in Rhodan's eyes that Sterling had never seen, even in the kwoon. "Also designed the one for Matador Fury. Drew up one for Striker Eureka, but their pilots changed it at the last minute."
"I didn't know you were an artist."
"I'm not, really." From the slant of his eyes it was obvious that Rhodan regretted that was the case. "Artists had a hard enough time surviving before the kaiju. Now it's almost impossible."
"So you went into security instead?"
"Fighting and art are the only things I know how to do."
Sterling's mind pinged back to Kirin's comment on 'going legit' and he folded his arms on the table and leaned forward, "What did you used to do?"
Just like that, Rhodan told him everything that was kept out of his personnel records: how he and Kirin were just a couple kids roaming around the streets of Apopa, thieving to get by until they were strong enough to take what they needed. He talked about being street brawlers until they were hired on to rough up people for local gangs. He talked about the mother- not their mother, just a woman called La Madre who had beds and food for kids and teens who didn't have their own, who treated all of them sternly but fairly and demanded nothing of them but to not bring trouble into her home. She changed the twins' lives, made them want to protect her, repay her for her compassion, made them want to go straight even if they didn't know how. She never judged them for their failures, for all the times they kept falling back into bad habits, just quietly set them back on their feet and even let them claim her family name as theirs.
And then the kaiju came and the PPDC formed, so desperate for bodies that the twins saw their chance and jumped for it. They'd never been out of El Salvador before- had never even considered it a possibility, but now they'd been all over the world, had their minds opened to so many new things and the when they'd gone back to Apopa, La Madre had actually cried, telling them how proud she was.
"Why do you even like me?" It came out before Sterling could stop it, blunt and perhaps slightly disbelieving. But he knew the type of person Rhodan was and having the patience and restraint to deal with someone as romantically inept as Sterling was not generally in their skillset. "How did this even start?"
"You understand what it's like to have a younger sibling."
"I'd have to double check, but I'm pretty sure there's lots of people with one or more younger sibling."
Rhodan's eyes were intense- which seemed to be how they always were but it never failed to make Sterling shiver a bit every time they locked on to his. "They don't treat them the way we do. You'd do anything for Ryland, including not hold him back. You'd fight every battle for him if you knew he didn't want to do it himself. You would sacrifice anything for him, but you're willing to do it because you know he'd never ask you to."
Sterling said nothing but his hand curled around his spoon. He'd always known his relationship with Ryland wasn't like most siblings he'd known. He knew even without all the snide remarks and teasing he'd gotten throughout his life, all the judgmental questions about how he could be so close to a kid five years younger than him. A psychologist would probably trace it back to the loss of their parents, but to Sterling it was simply because they were brothers.
"Back when I attempted relationships, everyone either got jealous of how I was with Kirin or they expected me to treat them the same way I do her. But you understand. To you, no one will ever be more important than Ryland, so you'd never ask for me to make you more important than Kirin."
He smiled thinly. "Not exactly the most stable thing to base a relationship on."
"Maybe if that were the only thing," Rhodan shot back. "Why are you giving me a chance? Both in the base and with you?"
"When I was in the Academy I got to Drift once with Marshall Pentecost. He connected through intention instead of memory so I have some idea as to the kind of man he is, at least when it comes to being in charge. He plays the long game. If he thinks the outcome is worth the hassle, he'll take a gamble on you. If he thinks you have potential, he'll find ways to deal with bad attitudes." He folded his hands together and propped his chin on the backs of them. "Pentecost was the one that recommended you to be a trainer, so I knew you had to be good. Admittedly I thought you being were a little too harsh, but there's no denying you got results and your methods are very intelligent and clever. Ryland and Dong Hoon have great faith in you and Deputy Rivers is always checking up on you and your sister and none of them are the type that would put up with a bully."
"So you're giving me a chance based on other people's opinions?"
"I'm giving you a chance because I agree with them. You've got a lot of heart in you, the way you push Ryland and Dong Hoon and Adelei to be stronger, more confident. Admittedly I never thought about getting into a relationship with you- or anyone -but part of dating is about getting to know each other better, right?" Sterling smiled. It was the kind of smile that made even the coldest hearts trip up, open, honest and absolutely beautiful. "I certainly would like to get to know you better."
Rhodan ducked his head, trying to hide the pink on his cheeks and a smile somewhere between shy and proud. It made Sterling realize that while Rhodan may have experience with physical intimacy, he had about as much of a clue as to the interpersonal side of dating as Sterling did. So he reached over and hooked Rhodan's fingers with his own.
Guess they'd figure it out together.
