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ajremixWell. This is now my third longest one-shot. Which took the second longest to write. Not that I'm ever expecting to beat the time it took to write Step Out on Faith, mind...
I started this before season 10 and I ended up not changing anything to fit Theta's official depiction because I was having enough trouble finishing this as it was.
Title: All for You
Fandom: Red vs Blue
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 8169
Characters: North, South, Theta, Wyoming, the Director, Maine
Summary: North, from implantation to death, and how Theta changed him.
He'd heard the others talking about theirs as a constant presence, a background noise they couldn't silence. So far Theta was merely a sort of weight in the back of North's mind. He wasn't entirely sure how that worked but it was the best way he could describe it. He gave Theta an experimental mental poke and felt the AI unfurl. [Yes, MyNorth?]
"MyNorth?" He asked, simultaneously amused and unnerved at the child-like voice.
[You are my person, my host. MyNorth.]
"A little awkward, but okay."
[Do you need something, MyNorth?]
"Nah, just wanted to talk to you. Get a feel for what you were like and all."
[I will protect MyNorth. No pain, no hurt.]
He laughed a little. "That's very kind of you, Theta."
[Protect MyNorth from everything.]
~*~*~*~
Everything was disorienting right after the implantation, as if the entire universe had taken one step to the left without telling him. After a night of rest, it was even worse. North had woken up not knowing what time it was, where he was, who he was. His brain was so full of thoughts he couldn't tell what was his; a second stream of consciousness that he couldn't control ran through his mind too fast to make sense of until he was swept up in it, a passenger in his own head. He could barely muster the coordination to get up, making it only as far as the bathroom before deciding to take advantage of the time off the Director had given them and just huddle under his blanket for the rest of the day. North barely remembered to check on Wyoming- who didn't seem to be faring much better –before Theta's presence overwhelmed him again.
He didn't know at what speeds time was elapsing, he just knew one thing, then another and another and he couldn't stop it and couldn’t tell where one thing ended and another began and he was certain some of the things he thought were his own memories but it was so difficult to tell which ones weren't. He did remember that, at some point, York came in with some food because suddenly North's head was filled with 'Delta' and 'connection' and 'broken' and it hurt so fucking much.
North thought he spent intermittent time in a restless sleep feeling Theta crawling through his brain. He dreamed of the people he knew- his family, his friends, anyone he'd ever loved with any degree of love. Theta kept spinning around those names, those faces, those moments, comparing them to something North couldn't exactly pin down. All he knew was the emotions- not good enough, don't want, don't care, not important, not worth it.
she was so beautiful so powerful so unstoppable I wanted her I wanted everything for her to be everything for her I would've followed her anywhere did anything she asked I would've died for her I should have died for her should've been there with her made her stop made her stay made her take me with her protect her from everything love her forever always love her
North buried his face into his pillow and bit sobs into it- Theta's emotions were just too pure and overwhelming. God, it made North's heart ache like someone had punched him in the chest with a cement block and he wanted to mourn someone he'd never known, something he'd never had. Eventually Theta settled on playing memories of South and all the moments North spent with his sister on an endless loop and North fell asleep thinking about another woman someone else had never forgotten.
The next day North was greeted with an unpleasantly jarring, [Good morning, MyNorth], but asides from that the universe had gone back to being one step to the left again. He could get to the bathroom and dress without feeling more than slightly dizzy. He paused by Wyoming's rack and asked how he was feeling. There was some garbled reply that North took to mean his roommate wasn't in much better shape than he was the previous day and took it upon himself to bring the older man some food.
He had another day of recuperating that was spent getting used to being up and about with someone else in his head. North wondered only briefly why the thoughts of that woman didn't feel like they belonged to Theta.
~*~*~*~
"So?" South asked where she was wrapped around her pillow. "What's it like?"
Apparently Wyoming and Gamma were still having difficulty adjusting to each other though they'd upgraded to arguing (for better or worse) and it drove North to his sister's quarters. CT was out somewhere. No one knew what she got up to these days and South didn't care enough to question her roommate.
"It's," North bit his lip, trying to think of the right words. "I don't know how to put it. Theta is very... warm. And open. It kinda reminds me of you when we were little."
"Me? How so?"
"Remember when we were kids and we went everywhere together? You used to always hold my hand no matter what we did."
She scowled. South never liked talking about how close they used to be these days. "I remember it the other way around. You kept following me and trying to hold my hand."
North just shrugged, not wanting to get into an argument with his sister right now. "Eh, either way. Theta makes me feel cared for and safe."
"Sounds creepy to me."
A hand squeezed South's knee. "It won't hurt me. I know it won't."
~*~*~*~
[South is important to MyNorth.]
"Yes, she is."
[Then South is important to Theta. I'll protect South.]
"You don't have to worry about her, she can take care of herself."
[If South hurts than MyNorth will hurt. I'll protect MyNorth from all pain. I will protect South.]
North almost wished Theta was a physical being so he could ruffle its hair. "Thanks for your concern, Theta. We'll protect her together."
~*~*~*~
Going off of the first implantation group's rate of recovery, the Director expected the second batch to be on their feet and exceeding their previous performance within a week. North wasn't entirely certain if he could hold to that standard, but he was certainly doing his best. Sometimes it was so easy to deal with having Theta in his head that North hardly noticed it. Other times it was difficult to do... anything. These days he could barely sleep in his own quarters. Not because Wyoming and Gamma were still arguing- no, they suddenly seemed to be getting along better than any of the other pairs so far -but because he just couldn't relax when they were around. Sometimes even before North knew they were there he'd tense up and be suddenly alert to every little thing.
It took him some time to realize the wariness came from Theta, just like the odd tickling in his head that set his teeth on edge whenever another implanted Freelancer was nearby. When he figured it out he had to ask, "What was that?"
[I was talking to Sigma.]
"You can talk to each other?"
[Yes. Talk to AIs. Know other Freelancers. Evaluate potential threats.]
"Potential threats? We're all a team."
[They can be dangerous to MyNorth.]
North just shook his head. Just like with South, he recognized that it was sometimes more efficient just to humor Theta. "Okay, then. Is Sigma or Maine a threat to us?"
[Sigma doesn't like Maine. Maine goes one way. Sigma goes all ways. Sigma-Maine biggest threat to Sigma-Maine.]
He had no idea what that meant. "Well, that's okay, I guess. What about the others? Have you talked to them?"
[Delta-York is good. Delta-York work well together. York is friends with MyNorth, yes?]
"Yeah."
[Theta should help MyNorth protect Delta-York?]
He laughed and Theta always seemed to like hearing North laugh, the little part of his head that was the AI glowing warm for a moment. "York's the one that looks out for us, he's one of the last people we need to worry about protecting."
[But Delta-York is in danger.]
The certainty in Theta's voice made North frown. "In danger from what?"
[Beta-Carolina. Beta is biggest danger to Carolina. Beta-Carolina is biggest danger to Delta-York.]
"What do you mean? How is Beta dangerous?"
Theta's warmth drew inward until the AI felt small and compact, a white dwarf star radiating its discontent throughout North's brain. [Beta cares but doesn't care about Carolina. Carolina is a tool. Beta will hurt Carolina to get what Beta wants. Delta-York will hurt themselves to help Carolina. MyNorth will feel hurt if Delta-York feels hurt. Beta-Carolina is indirect threat to MyNorth.]
It would've been inaccurate to say North wasn't disturbed by that- the idea that an AI might hurt one of the most capable people North had ever known. He tried to push the thought away simply as Theta being paranoid. "Don't worry about it. Carolina can handle Beta and I doubt York would want us to interfere with his love life, anyway. They can take care of themselves."
Theta seemed doubtful. [They're a threat. Not biggest threat, but still a threat.]
"Who's the biggest threat?"
[Gamma-Wyoming threat. Omega-Tex threat. Gamma-Wyoming can't be trusted- threat to everyone. Omega-Tex can't be controlled- threat to everyone.]
"Everyone already knows that," North tried to laugh it off but part of him worried over the idea that Tex was uncontrollable. The Director seemed to have her well handled... right? Though if Tex did happen to go rogue, who would be able to stop her? She took on York, Maine and Wyoming with ease and Carolina hadn't come close to reclaiming her spot as Number One. Tex easily was the most dangerous of them all and being alert to that wouldn't be such a bad thing. "But is that why I can't sleep at night? Because you think Wyoming and Gamma are going to do something to us?"
[Can't trust Gamma. Can't trust Wyoming. Gamma-Wyoming threat. MyNorth must be alert to threats.]
"You know what else is a threat? Sleep deprivation." North held up his hands, placating the voice in his head. "I know, I know- you're just doing that to keep me safe, but the fact is I can't sleep when I'm on alert. And not being able to sleep means I make mistakes in training or on missions and that's dangerous."
[That... is dangerous.]
"So you need to let me sleep, even if Wyoming is in the room, okay?"
[But...]
"How's this? You watch them whenever they're around and if they do something dangerous, you alert me. But only if they take a threatening action, not because they might do something threatening. Okay, Theta?"
There was a long pause and North could feel that Theta was unhappy with the compromise. [If MyNorth says so, Theta will comply.]
"Same goes with the other threats. We can't do anything about potential threats without orders, but that doesn't mean you can't watch out for me, right?"
[Yes, MyNorth.] Theta said with a possessiveness North had only ever felt from South when they were children. [I will protect you from all threats.]
~*~*~*~
Sometimes North dreamed about this woman he didn't know and still knew nothing about. He had no clue what she looked like, what she sounded like, why Theta or whatever odd remnant from the implantation processes was so obsessed with her. It was a single-minded and aimless kind of emotion- the feelings so defined and specific but the one it was for eluded North as if she were just a person-shaped hole in the fabric of someone's boundless love and need to protect and keep close.
The possessiveness of it always made him shudder.
~*~*~*~
"I'm sick of this. This needs to stop."
North looked at his twin in confusion. "What're you talking about?"
"I'm talking about your stupid AI! Tell it to lay off!"
"What's Theta doing?"
"Every hour, on the hour, it pings me! I could set a fucking clock to that thing!"
"It's just seeing where you are."
"Well it can stop. We're on a damned spaceship- it's not like I can go anywhere outside of a mission and if there was one, you'd know about it."
"It's just a ping, South. It's nothing big."
She glared up at North, eyes cold and challenging. "Then make it stop."
North groaned- if he were honest, getting hourly updates on his sister's location and condition was a little much but, at the same time, he knew he'd appreciate it when a mission rolled around. Theta was just making sure South was safe for North's sake. He couldn't berate the AI for that. "Just ignore it. I don't get why you're so worked up over it."
"Because it feels like you're hovering over my shoulder constantly! Christ, North- I thought we got over this separation anxiety bullshit!"
"What's so wrong about wanting to make sure my sister is okay?"
"We're on a spaceship! Surrounded by other Project personnel! What the fuck is going to happen to me here?"
North put a hand on South's shoulder, "It's not a big deal, alright? Just humor-"
Her fist caught North in the side, "Fuck off!" She didn't expect the hard knuckles of a backhand to strike across her jaw. A hand grabbed at her shirt, shoving her against a wall and a fist pressed painfully into her sternum. South stared in shock up into her brother's eyes- except they looked nothing like her brother's eyes.
"Don't hurt MyNorth," he growled and there was a strange, child-like voice weaving in and out with his own. "No one hurts MyNorth!"
South tried to reply but North's weight increased on her chest, making it hard to breath and she could only scrabble uselessly against his arm. Suddenly North's eyes were his own again. He jerked his hand back so fast South nearly fell to her knees and he looked horrified at the redness on her cheek- one that would certainly turn into a bruise the exact dimensions of his hand.
"Oh God," he hovered, as if afraid of touching her again, "a-are you okay?"
South glared at him, as furious with her own helplessness as she was with him. "Get away from me."
Unable to do anything else, her brother ran.
~*~*~*~
North was already barking out, "Get out," before he was even halfway through the door.
From his bunk, Wyoming gave the larger Freelancer a look. "I say- you seem to be in a bit of a tizzy. I don't suppose-"
"Get. Out."
Knowing when not to push his luck, Wyoming took the book he was reading and hastily edged his way to the exit. "Right, I'll just... I'll be on my way, then."
Once the door was closed and securely locked, North growled out, "Theta- what the fuck was that?"
Theta materialized, a little figure of coalesced purple and red light. [MyNorth is angry?]
"Damn straight I'm angry! You hurt South!"
[South attacked MyNorth. I protect MyNorth.]
"You don't hurt South! Never, ever hurt South! For that matter, don't ever take over my body again, got that?"
Theta hunched a little upon itself. [Theta's confused. I was only protecting-]
With a harsh sound, North turned away from the projection. He scrubbed his face, trying to get his thoughts back together. Finally he said, "I love South more than anything, Theta. If hitting me makes her satisfied, I can take a little pain. I'll do anything to keep my sister happy. She's not actually trying to hurt me anyway, she’s just expressing her annoyance."
[Then... if South is happy, MyNorth is happy?]
"Yes."
The AI seemed to understand, standing straighter. [And if MyNorth is happy, Theta is happy.]
North couldn't help a little smile at that. "Sure."
[Theta should apologize to South.]
"Maybe. She'll be too mad to listen right now."
[Theta should apologize to MyNorth.]
"Just don't let it happen again."
[It won't. I will protect MyNorth. I will make South happy.] Theta's colors seemed to intensify. [I will make MyNorth happy.]
~*~*~*~
Supposedly Theta was supposed to make using the enhanced motion tracker easier. North wasn't entirely certain what that meant- he had a pretty good grasp of it already. Of course he also wondered why he had the enhanced motion tracker and not Carolina or York who generally did all the infiltration work. But he knew better than to question the Director so North made his way through the simulated urban environment. There were fifteen blips on his tracker- five more than he could normally keep up with effectively.
"The mission is simple," the Director had said, "kill your opponents before they kill you."
Or, as the case may be, incapacitate them. The paint guns were modeled as closely to their regularly issued firearms as possible but there were still subtle differences detectable only to those who lived their lives by them. The pistol in North's hand was slightly heavier, the weight distribution favoring the slide more than the grip. He cupped the weapon in both hands, moving cautiously through training room.
[MyNorth,] Theta said, [we should attack first.]
"You're starting to sound like South." Even with the intercom turned off, North kept his voice low. "We need to find a defensible position before we start shooting, it'll attract the others' attention."
[No. A central space is better. More room to move.]
"More room for them to come at me."
[This setup halves the effective range of opponent's pistols. They'll have to come in predictable angles. Theta will watch the tracker, MyNorth will kill everyone.]
He couldn't help a little huff of amusement. "You make it sound so easy, Theta."
[We're a team. Team members work together to make the job easier.]
North took a moment's pause to look up at the observation deck. He couldn't see inside it but knew the Director was watching. He wondered if South was, too. "What the hell. This training exercise is about seeing what you can do so let's see what you can do."
Theta pulsed warm and excitedly in North's head. [Yes, MyNorth!] Then, to North's astonishment, his tracker's range grew until the entire room was mapped out and, with a quick count, over thirty targets were on the move.
"I- what," North's eyes felt like they were going to cross trying to keep track of what was going on. "Theta, I can't-"
[Set up point here,] a beacon flashed on the map. [I will track targets. No one will hurt MyNorth.]
The crisscrossing lines and moving forms with their changing distances and threat levels were burning in North's eyes and he had to take a moment to reteach himself to see beyond them. "Okay," he jogged toward the beacon, keeping low and silent, "let's get this over with."
Someone had already taken refuge in the junction the beacon was located in but it barely took a thought to dispatch them. They clattered to the floor, a statue of flailed limbs and surprise that North shoved out of his way with a foot. Other targets began converging on him- too many targets -and he tried to ignore the hot throb in his head and the cold, sticky sweat he was suddenly in. He hoped Theta knew what he was doing.
[Yes, MyNorth. We will win.]
They were coming from all angles and North kept himself loose and ready, trying to anticipate which dot would round their corner first. Just as he turned toward the first, the dot on his left turned red and North froze, not knowing what to do. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a pistol peeking out around the corner on his left and he just barely dodged the blind shot, taking out the body coming out in front of him before nailing his would-be sniper. More dots were closing in and North didn’t know where to attack first. His targeting array was suddenly flooded with information- the ones easiest to hit first, the ones that posed the most threat, the ranks changing up and switching colors and North couldn't even see most of them but he didn’t question the coordinates he had, just took them down as they entered. Paint came at him from everywhere, almost too quick and numerous to dodge. North’s body worked automatically, a puppet controlled by some mix of ingrained training and tightly-lashed panic.
[I will keep MyNorth alive. Trust me.]
A warmth flushed through North’s body, washing away the cold fright and in its wake was confidence- Theta’s confidence in North’s abilities, confidence in Theta’s own ability to read the enemy. Everything became so fluid after that, more like a dance than a battle as North duck and wove, twisted and spun and nearly every shot fired hit its mark. He was taking down targets almost as fast as Theta locked them in.
He was so intimately familiar with the pistol that he could feel the last round being chambered just as Theta alerted him, targeting another one in easiest reach- one in the hands of another opponent that swung about from behind. North ducked under the shot, grabbed the pistol and the hand holding it, twisting the weapon from its owners grasp and North flipped him to the ground, firing his last paint round into the reflective visor.
North had never felt like this before: so in control, so unstoppable, so… powerful. Like he could do anything, stop anyone that got in his way, protect every person in the goddamn universe if he wanted to. He wondered if this was how Tex and Carolina felt. There wasn't a person alive that could touch him. Not as long as he had Theta.
[Stay with MyNorth. Forever with MyNorth. Nothing will take MyNorth away from Theta.]
No, he thought to himself. Nothing will take you away.
There didn't seem to be enough air getting into his lungs and his muscles burned but North didn't realize that he had stopped- that there were no other threats –until Theta's childlike voice told him, [You are safe, MyNorth.] and then FILSS announced from the speakers, "Training is complete. Training room floor lockdown is now lifted. Any injured personnel, please see the on duty medic when you've regained mobility. Have a nice day."
The training room door opened and there, as impeccably as ever, stood the Director with his hands folded behind his back and the harsh overhead light glinting off his glasses. North went to stand at attention before him, residual adrenaline making his whole body thrum.
"Very impressive, Agent North Dakota." The Director always said his full name like a drawled code. He was proud at what North and Theta had accomplished and wanted them aware of his approval. It was something North didn't hear from him often and couldn't help grinning beneath his helmet.
"Thank you, sir."
"Report to the Councilor for Theta's debriefing."
"Yessir." The Director turned his back in a silent dismissal. Seeing what he was now capable of, North felt ready for a new mission, ready for another training exercise, ready for anything. Instead he reigned his emotions in and set off for the Councilor's office.
Whatever the universe wanted to throw at him, North could take it.
Part 2
I started this before season 10 and I ended up not changing anything to fit Theta's official depiction because I was having enough trouble finishing this as it was.
Title: All for You
Fandom: Red vs Blue
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 8169
Characters: North, South, Theta, Wyoming, the Director, Maine
Summary: North, from implantation to death, and how Theta changed him.
He'd heard the others talking about theirs as a constant presence, a background noise they couldn't silence. So far Theta was merely a sort of weight in the back of North's mind. He wasn't entirely sure how that worked but it was the best way he could describe it. He gave Theta an experimental mental poke and felt the AI unfurl. [Yes, MyNorth?]
"MyNorth?" He asked, simultaneously amused and unnerved at the child-like voice.
[You are my person, my host. MyNorth.]
"A little awkward, but okay."
[Do you need something, MyNorth?]
"Nah, just wanted to talk to you. Get a feel for what you were like and all."
[I will protect MyNorth. No pain, no hurt.]
He laughed a little. "That's very kind of you, Theta."
[Protect MyNorth from everything.]
~*~*~*~
Everything was disorienting right after the implantation, as if the entire universe had taken one step to the left without telling him. After a night of rest, it was even worse. North had woken up not knowing what time it was, where he was, who he was. His brain was so full of thoughts he couldn't tell what was his; a second stream of consciousness that he couldn't control ran through his mind too fast to make sense of until he was swept up in it, a passenger in his own head. He could barely muster the coordination to get up, making it only as far as the bathroom before deciding to take advantage of the time off the Director had given them and just huddle under his blanket for the rest of the day. North barely remembered to check on Wyoming- who didn't seem to be faring much better –before Theta's presence overwhelmed him again.
He didn't know at what speeds time was elapsing, he just knew one thing, then another and another and he couldn't stop it and couldn’t tell where one thing ended and another began and he was certain some of the things he thought were his own memories but it was so difficult to tell which ones weren't. He did remember that, at some point, York came in with some food because suddenly North's head was filled with 'Delta' and 'connection' and 'broken' and it hurt so fucking much.
North thought he spent intermittent time in a restless sleep feeling Theta crawling through his brain. He dreamed of the people he knew- his family, his friends, anyone he'd ever loved with any degree of love. Theta kept spinning around those names, those faces, those moments, comparing them to something North couldn't exactly pin down. All he knew was the emotions- not good enough, don't want, don't care, not important, not worth it.
she was so beautiful so powerful so unstoppable I wanted her I wanted everything for her to be everything for her I would've followed her anywhere did anything she asked I would've died for her I should have died for her should've been there with her made her stop made her stay made her take me with her protect her from everything love her forever always love her
North buried his face into his pillow and bit sobs into it- Theta's emotions were just too pure and overwhelming. God, it made North's heart ache like someone had punched him in the chest with a cement block and he wanted to mourn someone he'd never known, something he'd never had. Eventually Theta settled on playing memories of South and all the moments North spent with his sister on an endless loop and North fell asleep thinking about another woman someone else had never forgotten.
The next day North was greeted with an unpleasantly jarring, [Good morning, MyNorth], but asides from that the universe had gone back to being one step to the left again. He could get to the bathroom and dress without feeling more than slightly dizzy. He paused by Wyoming's rack and asked how he was feeling. There was some garbled reply that North took to mean his roommate wasn't in much better shape than he was the previous day and took it upon himself to bring the older man some food.
He had another day of recuperating that was spent getting used to being up and about with someone else in his head. North wondered only briefly why the thoughts of that woman didn't feel like they belonged to Theta.
~*~*~*~
"So?" South asked where she was wrapped around her pillow. "What's it like?"
Apparently Wyoming and Gamma were still having difficulty adjusting to each other though they'd upgraded to arguing (for better or worse) and it drove North to his sister's quarters. CT was out somewhere. No one knew what she got up to these days and South didn't care enough to question her roommate.
"It's," North bit his lip, trying to think of the right words. "I don't know how to put it. Theta is very... warm. And open. It kinda reminds me of you when we were little."
"Me? How so?"
"Remember when we were kids and we went everywhere together? You used to always hold my hand no matter what we did."
She scowled. South never liked talking about how close they used to be these days. "I remember it the other way around. You kept following me and trying to hold my hand."
North just shrugged, not wanting to get into an argument with his sister right now. "Eh, either way. Theta makes me feel cared for and safe."
"Sounds creepy to me."
A hand squeezed South's knee. "It won't hurt me. I know it won't."
~*~*~*~
[South is important to MyNorth.]
"Yes, she is."
[Then South is important to Theta. I'll protect South.]
"You don't have to worry about her, she can take care of herself."
[If South hurts than MyNorth will hurt. I'll protect MyNorth from all pain. I will protect South.]
North almost wished Theta was a physical being so he could ruffle its hair. "Thanks for your concern, Theta. We'll protect her together."
~*~*~*~
Going off of the first implantation group's rate of recovery, the Director expected the second batch to be on their feet and exceeding their previous performance within a week. North wasn't entirely certain if he could hold to that standard, but he was certainly doing his best. Sometimes it was so easy to deal with having Theta in his head that North hardly noticed it. Other times it was difficult to do... anything. These days he could barely sleep in his own quarters. Not because Wyoming and Gamma were still arguing- no, they suddenly seemed to be getting along better than any of the other pairs so far -but because he just couldn't relax when they were around. Sometimes even before North knew they were there he'd tense up and be suddenly alert to every little thing.
It took him some time to realize the wariness came from Theta, just like the odd tickling in his head that set his teeth on edge whenever another implanted Freelancer was nearby. When he figured it out he had to ask, "What was that?"
[I was talking to Sigma.]
"You can talk to each other?"
[Yes. Talk to AIs. Know other Freelancers. Evaluate potential threats.]
"Potential threats? We're all a team."
[They can be dangerous to MyNorth.]
North just shook his head. Just like with South, he recognized that it was sometimes more efficient just to humor Theta. "Okay, then. Is Sigma or Maine a threat to us?"
[Sigma doesn't like Maine. Maine goes one way. Sigma goes all ways. Sigma-Maine biggest threat to Sigma-Maine.]
He had no idea what that meant. "Well, that's okay, I guess. What about the others? Have you talked to them?"
[Delta-York is good. Delta-York work well together. York is friends with MyNorth, yes?]
"Yeah."
[Theta should help MyNorth protect Delta-York?]
He laughed and Theta always seemed to like hearing North laugh, the little part of his head that was the AI glowing warm for a moment. "York's the one that looks out for us, he's one of the last people we need to worry about protecting."
[But Delta-York is in danger.]
The certainty in Theta's voice made North frown. "In danger from what?"
[Beta-Carolina. Beta is biggest danger to Carolina. Beta-Carolina is biggest danger to Delta-York.]
"What do you mean? How is Beta dangerous?"
Theta's warmth drew inward until the AI felt small and compact, a white dwarf star radiating its discontent throughout North's brain. [Beta cares but doesn't care about Carolina. Carolina is a tool. Beta will hurt Carolina to get what Beta wants. Delta-York will hurt themselves to help Carolina. MyNorth will feel hurt if Delta-York feels hurt. Beta-Carolina is indirect threat to MyNorth.]
It would've been inaccurate to say North wasn't disturbed by that- the idea that an AI might hurt one of the most capable people North had ever known. He tried to push the thought away simply as Theta being paranoid. "Don't worry about it. Carolina can handle Beta and I doubt York would want us to interfere with his love life, anyway. They can take care of themselves."
Theta seemed doubtful. [They're a threat. Not biggest threat, but still a threat.]
"Who's the biggest threat?"
[Gamma-Wyoming threat. Omega-Tex threat. Gamma-Wyoming can't be trusted- threat to everyone. Omega-Tex can't be controlled- threat to everyone.]
"Everyone already knows that," North tried to laugh it off but part of him worried over the idea that Tex was uncontrollable. The Director seemed to have her well handled... right? Though if Tex did happen to go rogue, who would be able to stop her? She took on York, Maine and Wyoming with ease and Carolina hadn't come close to reclaiming her spot as Number One. Tex easily was the most dangerous of them all and being alert to that wouldn't be such a bad thing. "But is that why I can't sleep at night? Because you think Wyoming and Gamma are going to do something to us?"
[Can't trust Gamma. Can't trust Wyoming. Gamma-Wyoming threat. MyNorth must be alert to threats.]
"You know what else is a threat? Sleep deprivation." North held up his hands, placating the voice in his head. "I know, I know- you're just doing that to keep me safe, but the fact is I can't sleep when I'm on alert. And not being able to sleep means I make mistakes in training or on missions and that's dangerous."
[That... is dangerous.]
"So you need to let me sleep, even if Wyoming is in the room, okay?"
[But...]
"How's this? You watch them whenever they're around and if they do something dangerous, you alert me. But only if they take a threatening action, not because they might do something threatening. Okay, Theta?"
There was a long pause and North could feel that Theta was unhappy with the compromise. [If MyNorth says so, Theta will comply.]
"Same goes with the other threats. We can't do anything about potential threats without orders, but that doesn't mean you can't watch out for me, right?"
[Yes, MyNorth.] Theta said with a possessiveness North had only ever felt from South when they were children. [I will protect you from all threats.]
~*~*~*~
Sometimes North dreamed about this woman he didn't know and still knew nothing about. He had no clue what she looked like, what she sounded like, why Theta or whatever odd remnant from the implantation processes was so obsessed with her. It was a single-minded and aimless kind of emotion- the feelings so defined and specific but the one it was for eluded North as if she were just a person-shaped hole in the fabric of someone's boundless love and need to protect and keep close.
The possessiveness of it always made him shudder.
~*~*~*~
"I'm sick of this. This needs to stop."
North looked at his twin in confusion. "What're you talking about?"
"I'm talking about your stupid AI! Tell it to lay off!"
"What's Theta doing?"
"Every hour, on the hour, it pings me! I could set a fucking clock to that thing!"
"It's just seeing where you are."
"Well it can stop. We're on a damned spaceship- it's not like I can go anywhere outside of a mission and if there was one, you'd know about it."
"It's just a ping, South. It's nothing big."
She glared up at North, eyes cold and challenging. "Then make it stop."
North groaned- if he were honest, getting hourly updates on his sister's location and condition was a little much but, at the same time, he knew he'd appreciate it when a mission rolled around. Theta was just making sure South was safe for North's sake. He couldn't berate the AI for that. "Just ignore it. I don't get why you're so worked up over it."
"Because it feels like you're hovering over my shoulder constantly! Christ, North- I thought we got over this separation anxiety bullshit!"
"What's so wrong about wanting to make sure my sister is okay?"
"We're on a spaceship! Surrounded by other Project personnel! What the fuck is going to happen to me here?"
North put a hand on South's shoulder, "It's not a big deal, alright? Just humor-"
Her fist caught North in the side, "Fuck off!" She didn't expect the hard knuckles of a backhand to strike across her jaw. A hand grabbed at her shirt, shoving her against a wall and a fist pressed painfully into her sternum. South stared in shock up into her brother's eyes- except they looked nothing like her brother's eyes.
"Don't hurt MyNorth," he growled and there was a strange, child-like voice weaving in and out with his own. "No one hurts MyNorth!"
South tried to reply but North's weight increased on her chest, making it hard to breath and she could only scrabble uselessly against his arm. Suddenly North's eyes were his own again. He jerked his hand back so fast South nearly fell to her knees and he looked horrified at the redness on her cheek- one that would certainly turn into a bruise the exact dimensions of his hand.
"Oh God," he hovered, as if afraid of touching her again, "a-are you okay?"
South glared at him, as furious with her own helplessness as she was with him. "Get away from me."
Unable to do anything else, her brother ran.
~*~*~*~
North was already barking out, "Get out," before he was even halfway through the door.
From his bunk, Wyoming gave the larger Freelancer a look. "I say- you seem to be in a bit of a tizzy. I don't suppose-"
"Get. Out."
Knowing when not to push his luck, Wyoming took the book he was reading and hastily edged his way to the exit. "Right, I'll just... I'll be on my way, then."
Once the door was closed and securely locked, North growled out, "Theta- what the fuck was that?"
Theta materialized, a little figure of coalesced purple and red light. [MyNorth is angry?]
"Damn straight I'm angry! You hurt South!"
[South attacked MyNorth. I protect MyNorth.]
"You don't hurt South! Never, ever hurt South! For that matter, don't ever take over my body again, got that?"
Theta hunched a little upon itself. [Theta's confused. I was only protecting-]
With a harsh sound, North turned away from the projection. He scrubbed his face, trying to get his thoughts back together. Finally he said, "I love South more than anything, Theta. If hitting me makes her satisfied, I can take a little pain. I'll do anything to keep my sister happy. She's not actually trying to hurt me anyway, she’s just expressing her annoyance."
[Then... if South is happy, MyNorth is happy?]
"Yes."
The AI seemed to understand, standing straighter. [And if MyNorth is happy, Theta is happy.]
North couldn't help a little smile at that. "Sure."
[Theta should apologize to South.]
"Maybe. She'll be too mad to listen right now."
[Theta should apologize to MyNorth.]
"Just don't let it happen again."
[It won't. I will protect MyNorth. I will make South happy.] Theta's colors seemed to intensify. [I will make MyNorth happy.]
~*~*~*~
Supposedly Theta was supposed to make using the enhanced motion tracker easier. North wasn't entirely certain what that meant- he had a pretty good grasp of it already. Of course he also wondered why he had the enhanced motion tracker and not Carolina or York who generally did all the infiltration work. But he knew better than to question the Director so North made his way through the simulated urban environment. There were fifteen blips on his tracker- five more than he could normally keep up with effectively.
"The mission is simple," the Director had said, "kill your opponents before they kill you."
Or, as the case may be, incapacitate them. The paint guns were modeled as closely to their regularly issued firearms as possible but there were still subtle differences detectable only to those who lived their lives by them. The pistol in North's hand was slightly heavier, the weight distribution favoring the slide more than the grip. He cupped the weapon in both hands, moving cautiously through training room.
[MyNorth,] Theta said, [we should attack first.]
"You're starting to sound like South." Even with the intercom turned off, North kept his voice low. "We need to find a defensible position before we start shooting, it'll attract the others' attention."
[No. A central space is better. More room to move.]
"More room for them to come at me."
[This setup halves the effective range of opponent's pistols. They'll have to come in predictable angles. Theta will watch the tracker, MyNorth will kill everyone.]
He couldn't help a little huff of amusement. "You make it sound so easy, Theta."
[We're a team. Team members work together to make the job easier.]
North took a moment's pause to look up at the observation deck. He couldn't see inside it but knew the Director was watching. He wondered if South was, too. "What the hell. This training exercise is about seeing what you can do so let's see what you can do."
Theta pulsed warm and excitedly in North's head. [Yes, MyNorth!] Then, to North's astonishment, his tracker's range grew until the entire room was mapped out and, with a quick count, over thirty targets were on the move.
"I- what," North's eyes felt like they were going to cross trying to keep track of what was going on. "Theta, I can't-"
[Set up point here,] a beacon flashed on the map. [I will track targets. No one will hurt MyNorth.]
The crisscrossing lines and moving forms with their changing distances and threat levels were burning in North's eyes and he had to take a moment to reteach himself to see beyond them. "Okay," he jogged toward the beacon, keeping low and silent, "let's get this over with."
Someone had already taken refuge in the junction the beacon was located in but it barely took a thought to dispatch them. They clattered to the floor, a statue of flailed limbs and surprise that North shoved out of his way with a foot. Other targets began converging on him- too many targets -and he tried to ignore the hot throb in his head and the cold, sticky sweat he was suddenly in. He hoped Theta knew what he was doing.
[Yes, MyNorth. We will win.]
They were coming from all angles and North kept himself loose and ready, trying to anticipate which dot would round their corner first. Just as he turned toward the first, the dot on his left turned red and North froze, not knowing what to do. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a pistol peeking out around the corner on his left and he just barely dodged the blind shot, taking out the body coming out in front of him before nailing his would-be sniper. More dots were closing in and North didn’t know where to attack first. His targeting array was suddenly flooded with information- the ones easiest to hit first, the ones that posed the most threat, the ranks changing up and switching colors and North couldn't even see most of them but he didn’t question the coordinates he had, just took them down as they entered. Paint came at him from everywhere, almost too quick and numerous to dodge. North’s body worked automatically, a puppet controlled by some mix of ingrained training and tightly-lashed panic.
[I will keep MyNorth alive. Trust me.]
A warmth flushed through North’s body, washing away the cold fright and in its wake was confidence- Theta’s confidence in North’s abilities, confidence in Theta’s own ability to read the enemy. Everything became so fluid after that, more like a dance than a battle as North duck and wove, twisted and spun and nearly every shot fired hit its mark. He was taking down targets almost as fast as Theta locked them in.
He was so intimately familiar with the pistol that he could feel the last round being chambered just as Theta alerted him, targeting another one in easiest reach- one in the hands of another opponent that swung about from behind. North ducked under the shot, grabbed the pistol and the hand holding it, twisting the weapon from its owners grasp and North flipped him to the ground, firing his last paint round into the reflective visor.
North had never felt like this before: so in control, so unstoppable, so… powerful. Like he could do anything, stop anyone that got in his way, protect every person in the goddamn universe if he wanted to. He wondered if this was how Tex and Carolina felt. There wasn't a person alive that could touch him. Not as long as he had Theta.
[Stay with MyNorth. Forever with MyNorth. Nothing will take MyNorth away from Theta.]
No, he thought to himself. Nothing will take you away.
There didn't seem to be enough air getting into his lungs and his muscles burned but North didn't realize that he had stopped- that there were no other threats –until Theta's childlike voice told him, [You are safe, MyNorth.] and then FILSS announced from the speakers, "Training is complete. Training room floor lockdown is now lifted. Any injured personnel, please see the on duty medic when you've regained mobility. Have a nice day."
The training room door opened and there, as impeccably as ever, stood the Director with his hands folded behind his back and the harsh overhead light glinting off his glasses. North went to stand at attention before him, residual adrenaline making his whole body thrum.
"Very impressive, Agent North Dakota." The Director always said his full name like a drawled code. He was proud at what North and Theta had accomplished and wanted them aware of his approval. It was something North didn't hear from him often and couldn't help grinning beneath his helmet.
"Thank you, sir."
"Report to the Councilor for Theta's debriefing."
"Yessir." The Director turned his back in a silent dismissal. Seeing what he was now capable of, North felt ready for a new mission, ready for another training exercise, ready for anything. Instead he reigned his emotions in and set off for the Councilor's office.
Whatever the universe wanted to throw at him, North could take it.
Part 2
