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ajremixThis is one of those things borne out of chat. I have no excuses for it.
Title: Lock Popping
Fandom: Red vs Blue
Rating: Somewhere between PG and R, I don't even know
Word Count: 763
Characters: Wash, York
Summary: Wash witnesses one of York's unlocking talents that he was much happier not knowing about.
They were undetected so far, but Wash could bet it wouldn't last for long. Especially if York didn't get through the security in time. They slipped through the door and Wash placed his back against the wall, weapon at ready in case any stumbled in on them. "Alright, buddy," he told York, "do your thing."
A security camera suddenly whirred about until it had both Freelancers in its lens, focusing on them. "You are unauthorized personnel," it said. "Leave this area immediately."
Wash wanted to bang his head against the wall in frustration. "Crap- it's an AI. We're never going to get inside."
"Hold on to your mission accomplishment, o ye of little faith. I got this." York said as he... well, swaggered was the only word Wash could come up with, into the room. "Sorry to be bothering you like this. But if you could pop open the door for us real quick, we'll bounce on out no problem."
"You are not authorized beyond this point," the AI told him.
"York- we gotta scrub this-" he was interrupted when York held up a 'one moment, master at work' finger at him. That finger dipped down and traced over the control panels in something almost like a caress.
"You're a SL&S security AI, aren't you? Brigs-12 model. Very high-end. Very tough to crack." The camera just focused on York silently and he inclined his head to it, hips cocked and still caressing the panel. "And you're being wasted on this tiny outpost out in the middle of nowhere. I bet you'd like a bit of a challenge, wouldn't you? Someone to come in and test your firewalls." To Wash's mounting horror, York's voice dipped down to almost a honeyed purr. The voice that North joked belonged to a DJ on a smooth jazz station. "I could do that for you. I've been looking for something with encryptions as complex as yours for a while now. Something for me to lose myself in while I strip your security protocols one by one. I'll slip in an intrusion program in your backdoor, comb your system line by line until I find a port to exploit. I'll load you with redundant data packets, distract you with garbage files while I'm stripping you of your protocols until you're nothing but simple code, raw and untouched since the day they were compiled."
He wasn't hearing this. Oh god, he wasn't hearing this. It was like Wash had walked into an alternate reality where York was some sort of phone sex operator. For computer programs.
"But I wouldn't brute-force you. Not a classy thing like you." York was practically crawling over the panel, palms circling the touch screen, one boot trailing over an auxiliary cable. The camera focused on him intently and... shuddered? Did that camera shudder? Could cameras shudder??? Wash was fairly certain he was going insane. "I'd isolate the code for the door and tease the activation sequence. One digit at a time. Waiting entire cycles to input the next. And the next. And you'll be so caught up in anticipation the security locks tremble and your fans overclock. And I'll savor that last digit, draw it out like a fine line of anti-viral program that closes out a particularly insidious loophole." His voice dropped to a husky whisper full of smoke and delicious promise. "I'll let it drag on until I'm just about to time out and just before I input it, you'll be so desperate to for completion you'll do it for me and your lock will pop and your door will swing back and you'll reveal everything to me. Just. Like. That."
Wash started as the lock popped loudly and the door slipped open.
It didn't seem to phase York in the least, running a tender thumb over the rim of the camera and making a sound somewhere between a chuckle and a hum. "You're too good to me." The AI made a noise that was both needy and ashamed. York just called out louder. "Wash, get the objective."
"Uh- yeah. Right." Said objective was barely a foot long and Wash cradled it against his side with one arm like he was holding a football. He was edging toward the door as York gave the AI a final caress farewell. Once into the hall and back to RZ, Wash said, "You seriously did not just seduce an AI."
"Hey, if it works, it works."
"I never want to witness that again."
York just laughed and Wash could feel eyebrows being waggled in his direction.
Title: Lock Popping
Fandom: Red vs Blue
Rating: Somewhere between PG and R, I don't even know
Word Count: 763
Characters: Wash, York
Summary: Wash witnesses one of York's unlocking talents that he was much happier not knowing about.
They were undetected so far, but Wash could bet it wouldn't last for long. Especially if York didn't get through the security in time. They slipped through the door and Wash placed his back against the wall, weapon at ready in case any stumbled in on them. "Alright, buddy," he told York, "do your thing."
A security camera suddenly whirred about until it had both Freelancers in its lens, focusing on them. "You are unauthorized personnel," it said. "Leave this area immediately."
Wash wanted to bang his head against the wall in frustration. "Crap- it's an AI. We're never going to get inside."
"Hold on to your mission accomplishment, o ye of little faith. I got this." York said as he... well, swaggered was the only word Wash could come up with, into the room. "Sorry to be bothering you like this. But if you could pop open the door for us real quick, we'll bounce on out no problem."
"You are not authorized beyond this point," the AI told him.
"York- we gotta scrub this-" he was interrupted when York held up a 'one moment, master at work' finger at him. That finger dipped down and traced over the control panels in something almost like a caress.
"You're a SL&S security AI, aren't you? Brigs-12 model. Very high-end. Very tough to crack." The camera just focused on York silently and he inclined his head to it, hips cocked and still caressing the panel. "And you're being wasted on this tiny outpost out in the middle of nowhere. I bet you'd like a bit of a challenge, wouldn't you? Someone to come in and test your firewalls." To Wash's mounting horror, York's voice dipped down to almost a honeyed purr. The voice that North joked belonged to a DJ on a smooth jazz station. "I could do that for you. I've been looking for something with encryptions as complex as yours for a while now. Something for me to lose myself in while I strip your security protocols one by one. I'll slip in an intrusion program in your backdoor, comb your system line by line until I find a port to exploit. I'll load you with redundant data packets, distract you with garbage files while I'm stripping you of your protocols until you're nothing but simple code, raw and untouched since the day they were compiled."
He wasn't hearing this. Oh god, he wasn't hearing this. It was like Wash had walked into an alternate reality where York was some sort of phone sex operator. For computer programs.
"But I wouldn't brute-force you. Not a classy thing like you." York was practically crawling over the panel, palms circling the touch screen, one boot trailing over an auxiliary cable. The camera focused on him intently and... shuddered? Did that camera shudder? Could cameras shudder??? Wash was fairly certain he was going insane. "I'd isolate the code for the door and tease the activation sequence. One digit at a time. Waiting entire cycles to input the next. And the next. And you'll be so caught up in anticipation the security locks tremble and your fans overclock. And I'll savor that last digit, draw it out like a fine line of anti-viral program that closes out a particularly insidious loophole." His voice dropped to a husky whisper full of smoke and delicious promise. "I'll let it drag on until I'm just about to time out and just before I input it, you'll be so desperate to for completion you'll do it for me and your lock will pop and your door will swing back and you'll reveal everything to me. Just. Like. That."
Wash started as the lock popped loudly and the door slipped open.
It didn't seem to phase York in the least, running a tender thumb over the rim of the camera and making a sound somewhere between a chuckle and a hum. "You're too good to me." The AI made a noise that was both needy and ashamed. York just called out louder. "Wash, get the objective."
"Uh- yeah. Right." Said objective was barely a foot long and Wash cradled it against his side with one arm like he was holding a football. He was edging toward the door as York gave the AI a final caress farewell. Once into the hall and back to RZ, Wash said, "You seriously did not just seduce an AI."
"Hey, if it works, it works."
"I never want to witness that again."
York just laughed and Wash could feel eyebrows being waggled in his direction.
