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ajremixLast one and something actually written today. Don't even ask where it came from because I have no friggin' clue.
Title: Trial by Phone
Fandom: DCU
Rating: PG, PG-13 in case you're similarly skittish about certain biological functions
Word Count: 444
Characters: Alberto, Jaime, Bianca
Summary: Jaime needs to get the item no man ever wants to acknowledge exists. Alberto is evil.
"Reyes Gas and Service, this is Alberto, how can I help you?"
"/Hey, Dad. Sorry for calling you at work but I have a bit of a problem here.../"
Alberto knew that tone. It was Jaime's 'I don't want to do this thing I have to do so I'm going to look adorably sheepish until you take pity on me' tone. It hadn't worked since he was ten.
"What is it, miho?"
"/I can't buy everything on this shopping list./"
"Why not? Your mother gave you permission to use your credit card, didn't she?"
"/Yeah- money isn't the problem./"
"Then what is?"
"/I can't buy... this thing for Milagro./"
Well, at least Jaime didn't try to say it was because the store was sold out. Alberto tried that on Bianca when they moved in together. It didn't work. "Tampons, Jaime. They're called tampons."
"/Dad!/"
"It's not the Boogeyman. Misshapen creatures aren't going to attack me for saying things like 'tampons', 'pads' or 'menstruation'."
He could practically hear Jaime glowing bright red on the other end. "/Geez, Dad! If you're so comfortable with it, why don't you buy them?/"
"Because you're always going on about what an adult you are, because Milagro needs them and because I'm at work. If it'll make you feel better, ask Brenda to go through the check out line with you. You can pretend they're for her. Or see if Traci isn't too busy- she hasn't had dinner with us in a while."
There was choking, gurgling noises coming through the phone now.
"What about Paco? I've seen him buy them before, doesn't seem to bother him."
"/He has three sisters- he's had practice!/"
"Then consider this practice for when you need to buy them for the woman you settle down with."
"/Daaaaaaad-/"
Now Jaime was whining. Alberto couldn't let that go unpunished. "You could always buy some condoms while you're at it. Make you feel manly. But you're giving them to me when you get home."
"/Oh- for- why- I don't want to know about that!/"
"If Traci comes over for dinner, I may let you have one if you ask nicely."
"/Gah! .....I'm hanging up the phone now./"
The dial tone clicked on and Alberto set the phone down, chuckling to himself. At the counter, chin cupped in hand and lunch by her elbow, was a highly amused Bianca. "Did you just tell Jaime to buy you condoms?"
"I merely gave him the option," he said, going up to kiss his wife. "Our boy is rather skittish for a superhero."
Her hand slid behind his neck to pull him back for another kiss. "You are an evil man."
Title: Trial by Phone
Fandom: DCU
Rating: PG, PG-13 in case you're similarly skittish about certain biological functions
Word Count: 444
Characters: Alberto, Jaime, Bianca
Summary: Jaime needs to get the item no man ever wants to acknowledge exists. Alberto is evil.
"Reyes Gas and Service, this is Alberto, how can I help you?"
"/Hey, Dad. Sorry for calling you at work but I have a bit of a problem here.../"
Alberto knew that tone. It was Jaime's 'I don't want to do this thing I have to do so I'm going to look adorably sheepish until you take pity on me' tone. It hadn't worked since he was ten.
"What is it, miho?"
"/I can't buy everything on this shopping list./"
"Why not? Your mother gave you permission to use your credit card, didn't she?"
"/Yeah- money isn't the problem./"
"Then what is?"
"/I can't buy... this thing for Milagro./"
Well, at least Jaime didn't try to say it was because the store was sold out. Alberto tried that on Bianca when they moved in together. It didn't work. "Tampons, Jaime. They're called tampons."
"/Dad!/"
"It's not the Boogeyman. Misshapen creatures aren't going to attack me for saying things like 'tampons', 'pads' or 'menstruation'."
He could practically hear Jaime glowing bright red on the other end. "/Geez, Dad! If you're so comfortable with it, why don't you buy them?/"
"Because you're always going on about what an adult you are, because Milagro needs them and because I'm at work. If it'll make you feel better, ask Brenda to go through the check out line with you. You can pretend they're for her. Or see if Traci isn't too busy- she hasn't had dinner with us in a while."
There was choking, gurgling noises coming through the phone now.
"What about Paco? I've seen him buy them before, doesn't seem to bother him."
"/He has three sisters- he's had practice!/"
"Then consider this practice for when you need to buy them for the woman you settle down with."
"/Daaaaaaad-/"
Now Jaime was whining. Alberto couldn't let that go unpunished. "You could always buy some condoms while you're at it. Make you feel manly. But you're giving them to me when you get home."
"/Oh- for- why- I don't want to know about that!/"
"If Traci comes over for dinner, I may let you have one if you ask nicely."
"/Gah! .....I'm hanging up the phone now./"
The dial tone clicked on and Alberto set the phone down, chuckling to himself. At the counter, chin cupped in hand and lunch by her elbow, was a highly amused Bianca. "Did you just tell Jaime to buy you condoms?"
"I merely gave him the option," he said, going up to kiss his wife. "Our boy is rather skittish for a superhero."
Her hand slid behind his neck to pull him back for another kiss. "You are an evil man."
