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ajremixNormally I suppose I'd be happy for having finally written something if I hadn't started this damn thing back in November and had most of it done months ago. But it's finally done so I guess that's good enough for me. Been about forever and a half since I've done anything Ouran, so I hope it's not complete crap.
Title: The Last Temptation of Haninozuka Mitsukuni
Fandom: Ouran Host Club
Rating: G
Word Count: 4352
Characters: Hani, Mori, appearances by Yasuchika, Satoshi and Tamaki
Summary: Pre-series, minor spoilers for chapters 29 and 30. Not all sacrifices are the right ones to make.
When Mitsukuni woke in the mornings, he sat in bed and didn’t think of his breakfast that waited after his training- warm rice and soup and meats and tea, cold fruits and vegetables and cereal. Instead he sat and thought about getting out from a bed empty save for him and a light blanket. Then, as the sun began to spill through his window he’d force himself to put one foot on the cold, hardwood floor. He wriggled his toes at the shock, then set down the next foot, wriggling the toes on that as well.
Mitsukuni trudged through the halls with a dark scowl, back straight and snarling at everyone that stupidly crossed his path between his room and the bathroom and the training hall. Then he meditated and trained and meditated and didn’t think of his breakfast or his lunch or dinner or his classmates he’d see but never join. He just went about his day and forced himself not to think of any of it.
~*~*~*~
The trip to Ouran was, as always, uneventful. The middle school section started later, leaving Mitsukuni to share a vehicle with only his cousin Takashi, the two allowing the ride the pass in silence. They left the Mercedes as it halted in the cul-de-sac before the main building and began their way to the monumental doors. Someone behind them shrieked.
Mitsukuni whirled his head around, startled, and saw a gaggle of girls huddled together. One of them had a Safari with her, the cat not yet fully grown but big enough curl around her shoulders. The girl’s friends cooed at it and it soaked up the attention, purring loudly and demanding to be pet by any fingertips it could bump its head against. Mitsukuni watched them, thinking how much he wanted to go over and pet it and hold it because it was just so cute and soft looking-
“Waaah!”
He caught the edges of the steps with two palms and a knee, biting a whimper into his lower lip and drawing it out into a high, thin sound.
“Mitsukuni,” Takashi said quietly, standing just behind. It was the most help the smaller boy told him he’d allow before the school year started.
“I’m fine,” he muttered, carefully dusting off his hands and trying to hide the wincing and tears. “It’s nothing.”
His bag was held out for him and Mitsukuni looked up at Takashi’s impassive expression. He almost started tearing up again, but held it back with the trembling line of his mouth and sheer determination. He took the bag back without a word and started up the stairs, every other step marked by a subtle twitch of his jaw.
~*~*~*~
It was strange, this situation. Over the course of their freshman year of high school and soon to be going into their second, Takashi never imagined he’d be required to keep as close an eye on Mitsukuni as he’d been recently. In middle school, he didn’t have to worry over the smaller boy at all and despite being constantly together, the two had distinct lives. Now, though… Now Takashi was finding himself straying closer and closer to Mitsukuni at all times. Instead of almost always being nearby, he always was, ready with a cool look to Mitsukuni’s ‘secret’ fanclub to deter them from saying anything to the small boy.
Mitsukuni didn’t need their distraction. He didn’t need their fawning and their wants to coddle him and gush at how cute he was, even when he was trying so hard to not be. It was Takashi, constantly on guard, that kept those girls at bay more than Mitsukuni himself. And the ‘talks’ of the demon captain spreading around by the members of the karate club… Takashi knew better and he didn’t approve of their attempts to humor the Haninozuka heir. But it made Mitsukuni happy, so Takashi let it be.
No, that’s not right. Mitsukuni wasn’t happy about the title, he was relieved.
That thought left a cold feeling weighing down Takashi’s stomach and a taste in his throat he hated.
~*~*~*~
Mitsukuni’s hands twisted, a blur of holds and breaks and counters, so delicately small and impossibly relentless on the uniforms of his opponents. His movements were a mix of instinct and planning, sharp eyes catching each telling twitch of muscles and darting eyes and then hundreds of reactive moves blossomed in Mitsukuni’s brain, body so attuned to the rhythm it picked out the best option before a hand was laid on him.
The last of his opponents hit the mat in a roll the sent him sprawling against the wall. All of them groaned. None of them got back up. Sweat slicked against the narrow column of Mitsukuni’s neck and he stood his ground, still balanced on the balls of his feet as if a surprise attack was coming at any moment. Slowly, with his breath pumping in and out of his chest, he rocked back until his weight was even across his feet and he lowered his hands, shaking them out slightly. It always seemed like a surprise, somehow, whenever a match ended. Almost like Mitsukuni couldn’t believe it was finished.
“Waaah, Mitsukuni!” Yasuchika exclaimed from where he sat on his feet along the sideboards. “Very impressive today!”
“Thank you,” came the quiet reply. Mitsukuni stretched out his warm limbs, rolling the joints and making his way off the floor.
“You’re always so strict and harsh,” his younger brother continued on, getting up to follow the other Haninozuka to the corner. “You never let up on them! The energy you put into it, the expression on your face- it’s almost like you’re mad at them!”
Mitsukuni’s head snapped up, almond eyes wide at the comment and at Yasuchika’s large smile as he said it. “I’m not mad at them.”
“Hmmm, no. You don’t really get mad that much. But you’re so serious about things. I think that’s why I like seeing your matches so much.”
The smile on his lips was forced, but as so many of them had been forced in the last year, no one seemed to notice. “I have to be serious,” Mitsukuni told him, “it’s how I have to be in my position. If I’m not serious then… I guess I’d be turned into an alien or something.” He laughed and Yasuchika laughed with him. To himself, though, Mitsukuni just thought of all the things he wouldn’t ever get to do again because of his position and felt frustration welling up in his hands again.
He strode back out onto the floor and snapped for another fresh group of opponents.
~*~*~*~
Just because the different schools didn’t intermingle too often didn’t mean Ouran had strict segregation rules. It really wasn’t that odd to find first and third years popping off to see friends in other sections. The more popular students- especially those considered heroes in sports or music –were often watched during their practices by students of all grades. So seeing a middle schooler lurking around the school’s training hall- specifically where the karate club was currently in session –was nothing noteworthy.
Even so, there was generally a specific kind of student that would cross schools to watch the karate team train and the mannerisms that were innate to those kinds were all lacking in this student. Takashi did not like him.
He stood behind the student, a mop of silken gold hair atop a flawlessly white and black uniform, and let his shadow fall ominously on him. Slowly, very slowly as if to give Takashi time to leave so the student wouldn’t have to actually face him, he turned and looked up. And up. Somewhere at the top of that height were unamused gray eyes that demanded an answer without having to voice the question.
There was a quick flash of worry in the blonde’s expression, but it was quickly smoothed over and he stood, pressing a hand over the front of his white blouse and giving a dazzling smile as he bowed. “Ah, Morinozuka-senpai,” he flourished, “it is very much a pleasure to meet you!”
The expression on Takashi’s face very strongly hinted that pleasure was not reciprocated.
Without wavering in gesture or smile- which Takashi couldn’t help but grudgingly respect in the face of his stoic frowning –the student said, “My name is Suoh Tamaki and I and my friend Ootori Kyoya are planning on starting a new club. We would be very interested to have your dear cousin Haninozuka Mitsukuni to join us.”
Though two powerful names were a note of intrigue for Takashi, his skepticism was palpable. The narrowing of his eyes had Suoh elucidating.
“This club we had in mind would be- essentially –making use of our looks and intelligence. The Host Club, as we will call it, would be about our hosting the lovely ladies of the high school, engaging them in conversation, establishing networks for the future and to just enjoy ourselves in our final moments of childhood- wooing those who wish to forget, for one moment, that the fate of their families and possibly the very nation itself resting on their fragile shoulders!”
Takashi watched the extravagant posturing with some measure of disbelief. He didn’t even know how Suoh could say such things with a straight face.
“Haninozuka-senpai would be essential to this club. We plan on basing the different hosts on archetypes and with his youthful face and small stature and sweet expressions, Haninozuka-senpai is the very model of-“
“No.”
“-the adorable little- no?”
“No.”
Suoh stood there, as if expecting Takashi to just begin to explain himself. “But… why no?”
Because Mitsukuni didn’t need a club like that. Because that club wanted to make him exactly what he was trying not to be. Because if Suoh actually asked him, Mitsukuni might not have the willpower to say no himself. “No,” Takashi said aloud. “Leave.”
Slowly Suoh’s mouth pressed into a thin line. He bowed his head slightly. “Of course, I will give you some time to think this over. I hope you will come to understand the purpose of this.”
~*~*~*~
The two heirs knelt before the current head of the Haninozuka family, bowing respectfully. The man said nothing, merely waited patiently for Mitsukuni to begin speaking of the week he and Takashi had finished. The brief was short and uneventful. There was no mention of Suoh in Mitsukuni’s account and Takashi, with his eyes still focused on the wall beyond his uncle’s shoulder, thought about all the other things Mitsukuni didn’t mention or didn’t know about. It struck Takashi as odd that, suddenly, he was protecting his cousin from far more things now than he had the year previously.
He kept Mitsukuni’s fellow classmates at bay, he ensured the karate club’s indulgent whispered stayed as whispers. It seemed that Takashi’s duty now wasn’t to be Mitsukuni’s companion or servant, but to keep him wrapped up away from the world. Or rather, to keep the world away from Mitsukuni, just to help him keep up the image that, as Takashi watched weeks and weeks pass, was obviously nothing but a lie.
Was this what his life would be reduced to, he wondered with his bitterness tucked safely behind an opaque mask of stoicism. Would his duty to be snipping away each connection Mitsukuni had to the outside world until he was alone with only his false persona and his family’s empty words of praise to keep him company?
~*~*~*~
Every day for two weeks Takashi caught Suoh slinking around the karate club. Every day for two weeks Takashi turned him away, increasingly annoyed with his persistence.
Finally, breaking into Suoh’s soliloquy of how it would benefit Mitsukuni to connect and enjoy the springtime of his youth with others, Takashi growled, “Leave. Do not come back.”
The middle schooler stuttered for a moment, shrinking at the crack in Takashi’s emotional control, the anger that flickered through his eyes. Suoh didn’t return for the rest of the week.
~*~*~*~
Mitsukuni stared up at the ceiling, the corners of his bedroom were dark where sleep couldn’t get to him. His body felt heavy, his mind sluggish and his spirit fought every constraint he put upon himself until he was exhausted and yet still restless all over.
This was the right thing to do. It had to be. He was making members of his family happy, proud of the young man he was becoming. Though his stature would forever remain small, his dignity and professionalism made him a giant among his peers.
He was happy his family was happy. He could withstand a little stress, certain sacrifices and in the future he’d become so used to them he’d forget what it was like have all his middle school indulgences. All his childish habits and joys had no place in the adult world. It was best that he got rid of them as quickly as possible.
The boy twisted in his sheets, burrowing his head under an arm and forced himself to forget just what those youthful indulgences he had tossed away were.
~*~*~*~
The start of a new week and again Suoh was where Takashi did not want him to be. Instead of attempting to deny yet again, he decided a more direct approach was appropriate.
That approach, however, Suoh was also determined to thwart. “I’m not going to pretend I understand your family,” Suoh said, calm despite the iron grip that twisted his collar, “but allow me to ask this one question: when your grandparents married, was it for the good of their families or was it for the good of themselves?”
The grip tightened but the minute widening of Takashi’s eyes was proof enough that question struck. Emboldened, Suoh went on, “So long as he can still do his duty as the Haninozuka heir, does it matter how he acts? Being selfish once in a while isn’t always a bad thing. Self-sacrifice is noble, but that doesn’t mean you have to ignore who you truly are. Isn’t that also selfish? Changing yourself in order to satisfy others and never finding out who you truly are?”
Takashi’s grip slacked and Suoh pulled back to rest flat on his feet once more. “Doesn’t Haninozuka-senpai have just as much a right to be happy as anyone else? Isn’t that what a true friend does- make sure those they care about are happy?”
The two stood silently, Suoh patient and Takashi conflicted. Gray eyes flickered towards the blonde boy. “Leave,” he said gruffly. But the corners of his mouth trembled slightly and his brow was washed with swirling thoughts. Suoh gave a little bow and left without another word.
~*~*~*~
The laces of the padded vest twisted together and Takashi’s hands didn’t waver in properly folding the gear as his brother bodily draped himself over the older boy’s back and shoulders.
“You could be nicer to me in sparring,” Satoshi grumbled overdramatically, “by letting me score a point or two, you know.” The twitching of Takashi’s lips was just as telling as if he’d shook his head and said ‘no’. The younger boy grinned, not expecting any less. It didn’t stop him from going on, though. “But it would build my self-esteem knowing I might have a chance beating my indomitable big brother!”
That earned Satoshi a soft rumble of laughter. Takashi set the last of the gear aside but made no move to put them away, content to sit there and let his brother lean on him.
“Ne, Taka,” the younger boy started, feeling out each word before he said them, “are you happy?”
Eyes slanted in surprise and Satoshi ducked his head so his chin fitted into the seam of Takashi’s shoulder and his own arm. “It’s just... you don’t seem as happy as you used to be. Don’t know why but it’s harder to see if you’re smiling and it’s like there’s a weight on you that’s got you tensing up a lot.” Steeling himself, Satoshi raised his head and matched Takashi’s gaze, gray eyes to gray eyes. “Are you worried about Mitsukuni? You seem to be watching him a lot closer lately.”
Takashi pressed his lips into a carefully expressionless line, gazing back at the deep wood panels and off-white walls of the dojo. A head nuzzled against his cheek, Satoshi’s sweat-spiked hair prickling the back of his neck. “Maybe you should tell Mitsukuni what you’re worried about. I know he doesn’t like you not being happy as much as I don’t. When you’re not happy, I get worried because it’s hard to get you to talk about things and I don’t know how to help.” A hand gently squeezed at the slender, powerful wrists Satoshi hooked loosely over his brother’s shoulders. “When you’re not happy, I don’t like being happy either because it feels like I’m letting you down or ignoring you or something and I don’t want you to think I am. So... if I can do something to help you be happy, just tell me and I’ll do it.”
Takashi put a hand to his brother’s head, cradling it against his own. A smile warmed at his skin and his eyes, coloring the back of his throat where he said the words, “You’re a wonderful brother.”
~*~*~*~
“Suoh.”
The blonde jerked his head up at his name, then around, gaping ridiculously as he realized who had called him. “Mo-Morinozuka-senpai! I didn’t expect to see you coming all the way down to the middle school section- I would’ve gladly come up if you wanted to-“
“During the karate club’s ten minute break,” Takashi broke in deeply, “Mitsukuni always takes a walk along the grounds outside the club.”
Suoh, of course, already knew this, but he understood all the same. “Thank you. I will speak to him today.”
With a grunt that could’ve meant so many things Takashi turned away with his hands in his pockets and hoped that this wouldn’t turn out to be a mistake.
~*~*~*~
Ever since he began his self-imposed restrictions, Mitsukuni’s training had stretched almost until dinner and Takashi had taken it upon himself to accompany the other boy from the dojo back to the main building. But where there was supposed to be sounds of training, of small feet moving across mats and equally small hands pounding a punching bag, there was silence. As quietly as the rails would allow, Takashi slid open the door and found the room empty. Instead the door to the outdoor walkway was open and Mitsukuni sat on the edge, staring at the garden and the oranging sky beyond it.
Takashi padded across the room, toes bunching at the cool wooden walkway as his bare feet encountered the texture change. Wordlessly he sat next to his cousin.
“I talked to someone today,” Mitsukuni said by way of greeting, “a middle schooler.”
“Ah.”
“He told me about a club he was starting and asked if I wanted to join.” It was obvious from the way he tilted his head that Mitsukuni knew Takashi was already aware of everything. “I listened to him,” and that was the most telling thing Mitsukuni could have said. Because he had let Suoh talk and explain, he hadn’t stopped the younger boy, hadn’t ignored his strange idea.
Takashi turned his head to the blonde in a silent ‘tell me what you’re going to do’.
“I shouldn’t,” Mitsukuni drew up his knees so he murmured into them. “I don’t need that kind of distraction. It’s unbecoming of someone of my status.”
‘But’, said Takashi’s unspoken encouragement.
‘But’, said the shadows and silence that lengthened around them.
“But,” Mitsukuni curled deeper into the hole his knees and arms made, “I’m so tired already. I feel like I’m lying to everyone and that I’m not getting anywhere. The more I try, the more everything is falling away from me. And this club... it.. it really sounded exciting. It sounded like so much fun.”
“If it sounds fun,” Takashi said, because sometimes certain things needed to be physically said, “why don’t you join?”
He looked up in shock, large eyes even larger and bright with tears he tried to force back. “Takashi, would… would you… hate me? If I did this?”
His hand came up, fingers threading through soft hair and his palm was so warm and large that Mitsukuni couldn’t help bumping his head against it. “Do you remember,” Takashi asked softly, “what our grandparents always tell us?”
Mitsukuni bit his lip, trying to ignore his trembling. “Do what’s right for you, the family will take care of itself.”
“I want you to be happy. Just like our grandparents want us to be happy.”
Small hands wrapped around Takashi’s wrist and when Mitsukuni looked up his eyes were bright with tears. “Takashi…” his quavering voice almost didn’t make out. And when that arm he held pulled out of his hands and instead wrapped around his shoulders, when Takashi brought the other’s boy’s head to his chest, he couldn’t help it. Mitsukuni clutched at Takashi’s shirt and he bawled and he was never so grateful to be able to.
~*~*~*~
They sat on the veranda, the heat of the sun setting and the chill of the encroaching night swirling around them. Takashi leaned back on his hands, bare feet dangling in the grass. Mitsukuni sat at his elbow, swinging his legs high and aimlessly.
“I should probably quit the karate club.”
This admission was a surprise to the other boy, shown only by the tightening of the line of his mouth.
“I should,” Mitsukuni said again. “It’s not fair for me to be their captain and expect to be accepted as one if I’m not certain who I really am.” Takashi turned his head slightly and said nothing, but Mitsukuni could feel the question against his profile. “Maybe I’ll rejoin when I’m comfortable with myself again, I don’t know. But, ne- Takashi,” he clutched at the taller boy’s sleeve, pleas in his eyes and the curve of his mouth, “will you join with me?”
The span his eyebrows jumped and eyes widened made the question clear: what would he do in a club like that?
“You don’t have to quit the kendo club or anything! I just… want someone nearby to remind me that even if I like sweets and fluffy things, I’m still a Haninozuka. I need someone nearby to look at what I do and eat all day and make sure I train enough to counter it. Someone to keep me tough and balanced. Someone that can let me be happy, but remind me of my responsibilities. I need you, Takashi. I really do.”
He rolled the idea in his head, thinking about all the things he knew about this upcoming club and wondered if helping Mitsukuni was worth setting aside one year of his life for things he didn’t like. It wasn’t an idea he dwelled on long. No matter the attention, no matter the chattering and the squealing, there was little Takashi wouldn’t do to ensure Mitsukuni could be himself. Utterly, completely himself.
“We’d need to talk to Suoh first.”
“He’ll allow it,” Mitsukuni said with finality. “If he wants me to join, he’ll allow it.”
“Ah.”
They watched the sun go down and decided, without words, without following one another, it was time to go inside. Takashi took three steps and staggered at a sudden weight barreling onto his back. Mitsukuni clung there, smiling brightly. “Look, Takashi! I’m still small enough to do this!” The smile waned and he peered at his cousin in worried curiosity. “This is okay, isn’t it?”
“…” the corner of his lip twitched once, twice, then pulled into a smile. One hand went back to support the smaller boy, the other to tousle his hair. “Ah.”
Together, with Mitsukuni warm and his weight comforting against Takashi’s back, the two left the training hall. Abruptly Takashi stopped. “Satoshi.”
“Hiii!” The two turned, neither surprised at the younger Morinozuka sitting against the wall next to the door, still curled up on himself in an attempt to not be seen. “Uh… I mean, yes, Taka?”
The smile he gave to his little brother was just as bright and warm as the one he gave his small cousin. “Thank you.”
“H-Huh? Um… sure.” Satoshi sank deeper in on himself, unable to keep from blushing.
Happy with the day and the future, the heirs continued back to the main house and as they went, they discussed Mitsukuni’s revamped training schedule to compensate his new diet and they talked about what might happen at the new club and they wondered what the rest of the family would say.
But Takashi said he wouldn’t care what they did, so long as Mitsukuni made his decision and worked to make his choice the right one. Mitsukuni tightened his arms around Takashi’s neck and said thank you for being who you are.
~*~*~*~
When Mitsukuni woke the next morning, he sat in bed and thought about how much he didn’t want to get up. He sat and thought about how he didn’t want to get cleaned up and leave Usa-chan and the layers of comforters that nested so warmly and temptingly around him. Then, as the sun began to spill through his window he flopped out of bed and wriggled his toes in the plush carpeting he had installed late last night.
Mitsukuni trudged through the halls with a dark scowl, hunched over Usa-chan and snarling at everyone that stupidly crossed his path between his room and the bathroom and the training hall. Then he meditated and trained and meditated and thought about his breakfast of pancakes and french toast and chocolate milk and sugared fruit and he didn’t think about lunch but he thought about what he’d say to Suoh later and he thought about his classmate that had wanted to treat him to some cake and wondered if she still wanted to. He thought about all this and as he went to the dining hall to eat, he was already happy.
Title: The Last Temptation of Haninozuka Mitsukuni
Fandom: Ouran Host Club
Rating: G
Word Count: 4352
Characters: Hani, Mori, appearances by Yasuchika, Satoshi and Tamaki
Summary: Pre-series, minor spoilers for chapters 29 and 30. Not all sacrifices are the right ones to make.
When Mitsukuni woke in the mornings, he sat in bed and didn’t think of his breakfast that waited after his training- warm rice and soup and meats and tea, cold fruits and vegetables and cereal. Instead he sat and thought about getting out from a bed empty save for him and a light blanket. Then, as the sun began to spill through his window he’d force himself to put one foot on the cold, hardwood floor. He wriggled his toes at the shock, then set down the next foot, wriggling the toes on that as well.
Mitsukuni trudged through the halls with a dark scowl, back straight and snarling at everyone that stupidly crossed his path between his room and the bathroom and the training hall. Then he meditated and trained and meditated and didn’t think of his breakfast or his lunch or dinner or his classmates he’d see but never join. He just went about his day and forced himself not to think of any of it.
~*~*~*~
The trip to Ouran was, as always, uneventful. The middle school section started later, leaving Mitsukuni to share a vehicle with only his cousin Takashi, the two allowing the ride the pass in silence. They left the Mercedes as it halted in the cul-de-sac before the main building and began their way to the monumental doors. Someone behind them shrieked.
Mitsukuni whirled his head around, startled, and saw a gaggle of girls huddled together. One of them had a Safari with her, the cat not yet fully grown but big enough curl around her shoulders. The girl’s friends cooed at it and it soaked up the attention, purring loudly and demanding to be pet by any fingertips it could bump its head against. Mitsukuni watched them, thinking how much he wanted to go over and pet it and hold it because it was just so cute and soft looking-
“Waaah!”
He caught the edges of the steps with two palms and a knee, biting a whimper into his lower lip and drawing it out into a high, thin sound.
“Mitsukuni,” Takashi said quietly, standing just behind. It was the most help the smaller boy told him he’d allow before the school year started.
“I’m fine,” he muttered, carefully dusting off his hands and trying to hide the wincing and tears. “It’s nothing.”
His bag was held out for him and Mitsukuni looked up at Takashi’s impassive expression. He almost started tearing up again, but held it back with the trembling line of his mouth and sheer determination. He took the bag back without a word and started up the stairs, every other step marked by a subtle twitch of his jaw.
~*~*~*~
It was strange, this situation. Over the course of their freshman year of high school and soon to be going into their second, Takashi never imagined he’d be required to keep as close an eye on Mitsukuni as he’d been recently. In middle school, he didn’t have to worry over the smaller boy at all and despite being constantly together, the two had distinct lives. Now, though… Now Takashi was finding himself straying closer and closer to Mitsukuni at all times. Instead of almost always being nearby, he always was, ready with a cool look to Mitsukuni’s ‘secret’ fanclub to deter them from saying anything to the small boy.
Mitsukuni didn’t need their distraction. He didn’t need their fawning and their wants to coddle him and gush at how cute he was, even when he was trying so hard to not be. It was Takashi, constantly on guard, that kept those girls at bay more than Mitsukuni himself. And the ‘talks’ of the demon captain spreading around by the members of the karate club… Takashi knew better and he didn’t approve of their attempts to humor the Haninozuka heir. But it made Mitsukuni happy, so Takashi let it be.
No, that’s not right. Mitsukuni wasn’t happy about the title, he was relieved.
That thought left a cold feeling weighing down Takashi’s stomach and a taste in his throat he hated.
~*~*~*~
Mitsukuni’s hands twisted, a blur of holds and breaks and counters, so delicately small and impossibly relentless on the uniforms of his opponents. His movements were a mix of instinct and planning, sharp eyes catching each telling twitch of muscles and darting eyes and then hundreds of reactive moves blossomed in Mitsukuni’s brain, body so attuned to the rhythm it picked out the best option before a hand was laid on him.
The last of his opponents hit the mat in a roll the sent him sprawling against the wall. All of them groaned. None of them got back up. Sweat slicked against the narrow column of Mitsukuni’s neck and he stood his ground, still balanced on the balls of his feet as if a surprise attack was coming at any moment. Slowly, with his breath pumping in and out of his chest, he rocked back until his weight was even across his feet and he lowered his hands, shaking them out slightly. It always seemed like a surprise, somehow, whenever a match ended. Almost like Mitsukuni couldn’t believe it was finished.
“Waaah, Mitsukuni!” Yasuchika exclaimed from where he sat on his feet along the sideboards. “Very impressive today!”
“Thank you,” came the quiet reply. Mitsukuni stretched out his warm limbs, rolling the joints and making his way off the floor.
“You’re always so strict and harsh,” his younger brother continued on, getting up to follow the other Haninozuka to the corner. “You never let up on them! The energy you put into it, the expression on your face- it’s almost like you’re mad at them!”
Mitsukuni’s head snapped up, almond eyes wide at the comment and at Yasuchika’s large smile as he said it. “I’m not mad at them.”
“Hmmm, no. You don’t really get mad that much. But you’re so serious about things. I think that’s why I like seeing your matches so much.”
The smile on his lips was forced, but as so many of them had been forced in the last year, no one seemed to notice. “I have to be serious,” Mitsukuni told him, “it’s how I have to be in my position. If I’m not serious then… I guess I’d be turned into an alien or something.” He laughed and Yasuchika laughed with him. To himself, though, Mitsukuni just thought of all the things he wouldn’t ever get to do again because of his position and felt frustration welling up in his hands again.
He strode back out onto the floor and snapped for another fresh group of opponents.
~*~*~*~
Just because the different schools didn’t intermingle too often didn’t mean Ouran had strict segregation rules. It really wasn’t that odd to find first and third years popping off to see friends in other sections. The more popular students- especially those considered heroes in sports or music –were often watched during their practices by students of all grades. So seeing a middle schooler lurking around the school’s training hall- specifically where the karate club was currently in session –was nothing noteworthy.
Even so, there was generally a specific kind of student that would cross schools to watch the karate team train and the mannerisms that were innate to those kinds were all lacking in this student. Takashi did not like him.
He stood behind the student, a mop of silken gold hair atop a flawlessly white and black uniform, and let his shadow fall ominously on him. Slowly, very slowly as if to give Takashi time to leave so the student wouldn’t have to actually face him, he turned and looked up. And up. Somewhere at the top of that height were unamused gray eyes that demanded an answer without having to voice the question.
There was a quick flash of worry in the blonde’s expression, but it was quickly smoothed over and he stood, pressing a hand over the front of his white blouse and giving a dazzling smile as he bowed. “Ah, Morinozuka-senpai,” he flourished, “it is very much a pleasure to meet you!”
The expression on Takashi’s face very strongly hinted that pleasure was not reciprocated.
Without wavering in gesture or smile- which Takashi couldn’t help but grudgingly respect in the face of his stoic frowning –the student said, “My name is Suoh Tamaki and I and my friend Ootori Kyoya are planning on starting a new club. We would be very interested to have your dear cousin Haninozuka Mitsukuni to join us.”
Though two powerful names were a note of intrigue for Takashi, his skepticism was palpable. The narrowing of his eyes had Suoh elucidating.
“This club we had in mind would be- essentially –making use of our looks and intelligence. The Host Club, as we will call it, would be about our hosting the lovely ladies of the high school, engaging them in conversation, establishing networks for the future and to just enjoy ourselves in our final moments of childhood- wooing those who wish to forget, for one moment, that the fate of their families and possibly the very nation itself resting on their fragile shoulders!”
Takashi watched the extravagant posturing with some measure of disbelief. He didn’t even know how Suoh could say such things with a straight face.
“Haninozuka-senpai would be essential to this club. We plan on basing the different hosts on archetypes and with his youthful face and small stature and sweet expressions, Haninozuka-senpai is the very model of-“
“No.”
“-the adorable little- no?”
“No.”
Suoh stood there, as if expecting Takashi to just begin to explain himself. “But… why no?”
Because Mitsukuni didn’t need a club like that. Because that club wanted to make him exactly what he was trying not to be. Because if Suoh actually asked him, Mitsukuni might not have the willpower to say no himself. “No,” Takashi said aloud. “Leave.”
Slowly Suoh’s mouth pressed into a thin line. He bowed his head slightly. “Of course, I will give you some time to think this over. I hope you will come to understand the purpose of this.”
~*~*~*~
The two heirs knelt before the current head of the Haninozuka family, bowing respectfully. The man said nothing, merely waited patiently for Mitsukuni to begin speaking of the week he and Takashi had finished. The brief was short and uneventful. There was no mention of Suoh in Mitsukuni’s account and Takashi, with his eyes still focused on the wall beyond his uncle’s shoulder, thought about all the other things Mitsukuni didn’t mention or didn’t know about. It struck Takashi as odd that, suddenly, he was protecting his cousin from far more things now than he had the year previously.
He kept Mitsukuni’s fellow classmates at bay, he ensured the karate club’s indulgent whispered stayed as whispers. It seemed that Takashi’s duty now wasn’t to be Mitsukuni’s companion or servant, but to keep him wrapped up away from the world. Or rather, to keep the world away from Mitsukuni, just to help him keep up the image that, as Takashi watched weeks and weeks pass, was obviously nothing but a lie.
Was this what his life would be reduced to, he wondered with his bitterness tucked safely behind an opaque mask of stoicism. Would his duty to be snipping away each connection Mitsukuni had to the outside world until he was alone with only his false persona and his family’s empty words of praise to keep him company?
~*~*~*~
Every day for two weeks Takashi caught Suoh slinking around the karate club. Every day for two weeks Takashi turned him away, increasingly annoyed with his persistence.
Finally, breaking into Suoh’s soliloquy of how it would benefit Mitsukuni to connect and enjoy the springtime of his youth with others, Takashi growled, “Leave. Do not come back.”
The middle schooler stuttered for a moment, shrinking at the crack in Takashi’s emotional control, the anger that flickered through his eyes. Suoh didn’t return for the rest of the week.
~*~*~*~
Mitsukuni stared up at the ceiling, the corners of his bedroom were dark where sleep couldn’t get to him. His body felt heavy, his mind sluggish and his spirit fought every constraint he put upon himself until he was exhausted and yet still restless all over.
This was the right thing to do. It had to be. He was making members of his family happy, proud of the young man he was becoming. Though his stature would forever remain small, his dignity and professionalism made him a giant among his peers.
He was happy his family was happy. He could withstand a little stress, certain sacrifices and in the future he’d become so used to them he’d forget what it was like have all his middle school indulgences. All his childish habits and joys had no place in the adult world. It was best that he got rid of them as quickly as possible.
The boy twisted in his sheets, burrowing his head under an arm and forced himself to forget just what those youthful indulgences he had tossed away were.
~*~*~*~
The start of a new week and again Suoh was where Takashi did not want him to be. Instead of attempting to deny yet again, he decided a more direct approach was appropriate.
That approach, however, Suoh was also determined to thwart. “I’m not going to pretend I understand your family,” Suoh said, calm despite the iron grip that twisted his collar, “but allow me to ask this one question: when your grandparents married, was it for the good of their families or was it for the good of themselves?”
The grip tightened but the minute widening of Takashi’s eyes was proof enough that question struck. Emboldened, Suoh went on, “So long as he can still do his duty as the Haninozuka heir, does it matter how he acts? Being selfish once in a while isn’t always a bad thing. Self-sacrifice is noble, but that doesn’t mean you have to ignore who you truly are. Isn’t that also selfish? Changing yourself in order to satisfy others and never finding out who you truly are?”
Takashi’s grip slacked and Suoh pulled back to rest flat on his feet once more. “Doesn’t Haninozuka-senpai have just as much a right to be happy as anyone else? Isn’t that what a true friend does- make sure those they care about are happy?”
The two stood silently, Suoh patient and Takashi conflicted. Gray eyes flickered towards the blonde boy. “Leave,” he said gruffly. But the corners of his mouth trembled slightly and his brow was washed with swirling thoughts. Suoh gave a little bow and left without another word.
~*~*~*~
The laces of the padded vest twisted together and Takashi’s hands didn’t waver in properly folding the gear as his brother bodily draped himself over the older boy’s back and shoulders.
“You could be nicer to me in sparring,” Satoshi grumbled overdramatically, “by letting me score a point or two, you know.” The twitching of Takashi’s lips was just as telling as if he’d shook his head and said ‘no’. The younger boy grinned, not expecting any less. It didn’t stop him from going on, though. “But it would build my self-esteem knowing I might have a chance beating my indomitable big brother!”
That earned Satoshi a soft rumble of laughter. Takashi set the last of the gear aside but made no move to put them away, content to sit there and let his brother lean on him.
“Ne, Taka,” the younger boy started, feeling out each word before he said them, “are you happy?”
Eyes slanted in surprise and Satoshi ducked his head so his chin fitted into the seam of Takashi’s shoulder and his own arm. “It’s just... you don’t seem as happy as you used to be. Don’t know why but it’s harder to see if you’re smiling and it’s like there’s a weight on you that’s got you tensing up a lot.” Steeling himself, Satoshi raised his head and matched Takashi’s gaze, gray eyes to gray eyes. “Are you worried about Mitsukuni? You seem to be watching him a lot closer lately.”
Takashi pressed his lips into a carefully expressionless line, gazing back at the deep wood panels and off-white walls of the dojo. A head nuzzled against his cheek, Satoshi’s sweat-spiked hair prickling the back of his neck. “Maybe you should tell Mitsukuni what you’re worried about. I know he doesn’t like you not being happy as much as I don’t. When you’re not happy, I get worried because it’s hard to get you to talk about things and I don’t know how to help.” A hand gently squeezed at the slender, powerful wrists Satoshi hooked loosely over his brother’s shoulders. “When you’re not happy, I don’t like being happy either because it feels like I’m letting you down or ignoring you or something and I don’t want you to think I am. So... if I can do something to help you be happy, just tell me and I’ll do it.”
Takashi put a hand to his brother’s head, cradling it against his own. A smile warmed at his skin and his eyes, coloring the back of his throat where he said the words, “You’re a wonderful brother.”
~*~*~*~
“Suoh.”
The blonde jerked his head up at his name, then around, gaping ridiculously as he realized who had called him. “Mo-Morinozuka-senpai! I didn’t expect to see you coming all the way down to the middle school section- I would’ve gladly come up if you wanted to-“
“During the karate club’s ten minute break,” Takashi broke in deeply, “Mitsukuni always takes a walk along the grounds outside the club.”
Suoh, of course, already knew this, but he understood all the same. “Thank you. I will speak to him today.”
With a grunt that could’ve meant so many things Takashi turned away with his hands in his pockets and hoped that this wouldn’t turn out to be a mistake.
~*~*~*~
Ever since he began his self-imposed restrictions, Mitsukuni’s training had stretched almost until dinner and Takashi had taken it upon himself to accompany the other boy from the dojo back to the main building. But where there was supposed to be sounds of training, of small feet moving across mats and equally small hands pounding a punching bag, there was silence. As quietly as the rails would allow, Takashi slid open the door and found the room empty. Instead the door to the outdoor walkway was open and Mitsukuni sat on the edge, staring at the garden and the oranging sky beyond it.
Takashi padded across the room, toes bunching at the cool wooden walkway as his bare feet encountered the texture change. Wordlessly he sat next to his cousin.
“I talked to someone today,” Mitsukuni said by way of greeting, “a middle schooler.”
“Ah.”
“He told me about a club he was starting and asked if I wanted to join.” It was obvious from the way he tilted his head that Mitsukuni knew Takashi was already aware of everything. “I listened to him,” and that was the most telling thing Mitsukuni could have said. Because he had let Suoh talk and explain, he hadn’t stopped the younger boy, hadn’t ignored his strange idea.
Takashi turned his head to the blonde in a silent ‘tell me what you’re going to do’.
“I shouldn’t,” Mitsukuni drew up his knees so he murmured into them. “I don’t need that kind of distraction. It’s unbecoming of someone of my status.”
‘But’, said Takashi’s unspoken encouragement.
‘But’, said the shadows and silence that lengthened around them.
“But,” Mitsukuni curled deeper into the hole his knees and arms made, “I’m so tired already. I feel like I’m lying to everyone and that I’m not getting anywhere. The more I try, the more everything is falling away from me. And this club... it.. it really sounded exciting. It sounded like so much fun.”
“If it sounds fun,” Takashi said, because sometimes certain things needed to be physically said, “why don’t you join?”
He looked up in shock, large eyes even larger and bright with tears he tried to force back. “Takashi, would… would you… hate me? If I did this?”
His hand came up, fingers threading through soft hair and his palm was so warm and large that Mitsukuni couldn’t help bumping his head against it. “Do you remember,” Takashi asked softly, “what our grandparents always tell us?”
Mitsukuni bit his lip, trying to ignore his trembling. “Do what’s right for you, the family will take care of itself.”
“I want you to be happy. Just like our grandparents want us to be happy.”
Small hands wrapped around Takashi’s wrist and when Mitsukuni looked up his eyes were bright with tears. “Takashi…” his quavering voice almost didn’t make out. And when that arm he held pulled out of his hands and instead wrapped around his shoulders, when Takashi brought the other’s boy’s head to his chest, he couldn’t help it. Mitsukuni clutched at Takashi’s shirt and he bawled and he was never so grateful to be able to.
~*~*~*~
They sat on the veranda, the heat of the sun setting and the chill of the encroaching night swirling around them. Takashi leaned back on his hands, bare feet dangling in the grass. Mitsukuni sat at his elbow, swinging his legs high and aimlessly.
“I should probably quit the karate club.”
This admission was a surprise to the other boy, shown only by the tightening of the line of his mouth.
“I should,” Mitsukuni said again. “It’s not fair for me to be their captain and expect to be accepted as one if I’m not certain who I really am.” Takashi turned his head slightly and said nothing, but Mitsukuni could feel the question against his profile. “Maybe I’ll rejoin when I’m comfortable with myself again, I don’t know. But, ne- Takashi,” he clutched at the taller boy’s sleeve, pleas in his eyes and the curve of his mouth, “will you join with me?”
The span his eyebrows jumped and eyes widened made the question clear: what would he do in a club like that?
“You don’t have to quit the kendo club or anything! I just… want someone nearby to remind me that even if I like sweets and fluffy things, I’m still a Haninozuka. I need someone nearby to look at what I do and eat all day and make sure I train enough to counter it. Someone to keep me tough and balanced. Someone that can let me be happy, but remind me of my responsibilities. I need you, Takashi. I really do.”
He rolled the idea in his head, thinking about all the things he knew about this upcoming club and wondered if helping Mitsukuni was worth setting aside one year of his life for things he didn’t like. It wasn’t an idea he dwelled on long. No matter the attention, no matter the chattering and the squealing, there was little Takashi wouldn’t do to ensure Mitsukuni could be himself. Utterly, completely himself.
“We’d need to talk to Suoh first.”
“He’ll allow it,” Mitsukuni said with finality. “If he wants me to join, he’ll allow it.”
“Ah.”
They watched the sun go down and decided, without words, without following one another, it was time to go inside. Takashi took three steps and staggered at a sudden weight barreling onto his back. Mitsukuni clung there, smiling brightly. “Look, Takashi! I’m still small enough to do this!” The smile waned and he peered at his cousin in worried curiosity. “This is okay, isn’t it?”
“…” the corner of his lip twitched once, twice, then pulled into a smile. One hand went back to support the smaller boy, the other to tousle his hair. “Ah.”
Together, with Mitsukuni warm and his weight comforting against Takashi’s back, the two left the training hall. Abruptly Takashi stopped. “Satoshi.”
“Hiii!” The two turned, neither surprised at the younger Morinozuka sitting against the wall next to the door, still curled up on himself in an attempt to not be seen. “Uh… I mean, yes, Taka?”
The smile he gave to his little brother was just as bright and warm as the one he gave his small cousin. “Thank you.”
“H-Huh? Um… sure.” Satoshi sank deeper in on himself, unable to keep from blushing.
Happy with the day and the future, the heirs continued back to the main house and as they went, they discussed Mitsukuni’s revamped training schedule to compensate his new diet and they talked about what might happen at the new club and they wondered what the rest of the family would say.
But Takashi said he wouldn’t care what they did, so long as Mitsukuni made his decision and worked to make his choice the right one. Mitsukuni tightened his arms around Takashi’s neck and said thank you for being who you are.
~*~*~*~
When Mitsukuni woke the next morning, he sat in bed and thought about how much he didn’t want to get up. He sat and thought about how he didn’t want to get cleaned up and leave Usa-chan and the layers of comforters that nested so warmly and temptingly around him. Then, as the sun began to spill through his window he flopped out of bed and wriggled his toes in the plush carpeting he had installed late last night.
Mitsukuni trudged through the halls with a dark scowl, hunched over Usa-chan and snarling at everyone that stupidly crossed his path between his room and the bathroom and the training hall. Then he meditated and trained and meditated and thought about his breakfast of pancakes and french toast and chocolate milk and sugared fruit and he didn’t think about lunch but he thought about what he’d say to Suoh later and he thought about his classmate that had wanted to treat him to some cake and wondered if she still wanted to. He thought about all this and as he went to the dining hall to eat, he was already happy.
